Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I'm sorry.

The good thing about having only 4 hours of sleep and sitting here an hour and a half before a final I'm going to fail and a day before I fail another one and the day after I failed another final (but will pass the class) is that it really humbles you.
And now I'm going to do what God told me to do last year, but I was too stubborn to do: I'm going to change my major. I don't know to what. Don't ask me. It's just not going to be math.
I'm going to minor in math (since I pretty much have one of those).
I don't know what to do, music? english? agriculture? Who knows? Well, God knows, but at the moment, He's not telling me, so I'm at an impasse. In all seriousness, I'm considering English. Yeah. I know. 360. I know. I know. I know.
I feel like I've failed all of you. I've failed my friends back at home who knew me as a math person. I've failed Dr. Forcade who expects me to get into grad school with my math. I feel like I failed McKay because now he can't say that he's dating a math major (I'm sorry, man). And I've failed God for putting off this decision for a year (God, I know you told me to do this last October, but I just didn't know what to do. All I know is math. I didn't know any other choice. Okay, Okay. No excuses. I should have listened last year. Are you up to helping me now, even though it's a year late?)
Next semester will be a make-up semester with my grades. I'm retaking a couple of my math classes.
And I plan on graduating sometime in 2008 instead of 2007 (I hope. I don't know because I don't know what program I'm doing, so it's hard to predict.) I do have most of my Generals done. I just need Bio, Civ 2 (History of the printing press, here I come), my social science (I'm taking that next semester) and an arts (Music 101, my friends). I'm signed up for bio for next semester, I'm not sure if I'm doing it yet, though.
And I plan on not doing an REU this summer like I wanted to.
But I still plan on doing my research with Dr. Forcade and publishing that math paper and presenting it at the Spring Research Conference in March. I'll let you all know when it is so you can see me.
And if tomorrow's Daily Universe mentions a co-ed who died from falling off the SWKT, well, it won't be me, but it should.
And now I just wait. Revelation? You there? God? Hello?

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