Monday, December 19, 2005

Enlightenment

You know that feeling. Yes. That feeling. The feeling of Nirvana.
I don't want to brag and be prideful about it, but it's true: I've reached Nirvana.
Today, I have successfully packed 3 weeks of my life into a carry-on piece of luggage and a backpack.

Can you hear the choir in the background singing the Hallelujah Chorus?

This is one of my greatest achievements. I'd like to thank my parents, especially my father, for teaching me how to pack properly. A thanks is also thrown out to BYU for giving me a three week break so that my packing skills could be tried. And some cookies for the football team for getting us to a BOWL GAME!

Actually, the real reason that I packed so well is that it's an attractive quality. Well, at least for me, if a guy can pack efficiently, he's more attractive. I am specifically recalling a particular conversation last Friday when, as McKay was getting ready to go, I asked him if he needed help taking his stuff out to Deveren's car. He responded that he only had one bag, so my help wouldn't be needed.
One bag? McKay, for about 10 seconds after that conversation, I was swooning over your packing skills. Sigh...

What is so attractive about packing light? First, it's a sign that the person can be somewhat organized. Second, you know that the person isn't too worldly and needs that extra pair of shoes or bottle of shampoo. Thirdly (and most importantly), the amount of physical luggage is directly proportional to the amount of emotional luggage a person carries with them. If they can pack well, it means that they don't have extra stuff in the back of their mind that they can't let go of.
And that is why I try to pack well. That's the type of person I want to portray. So here I go: Vegas, Christmas in Chicago, and back to Utah again. All in a carry-on.

(actually, I also packed a bag within the carry-on so that I can bring Christmas presents home, so I'm not as efficient as I would like to be...stupid emotional baggage)

Ohhhhmmm. Ohhhhmmm.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Life's too Short not to Live it Up a Little

Are you still hiding in your comfort zone, afraid to make your great debut in the world?
As the Heavenly Hosts say, "Fear Not!" I have created a new product that is guaranteed to throw you out of your comfort zone and into the frying pan where the party is HOT HOT HOT!
Because it is such a revolutionary idea, I cannot tell you exactly what the product is, I can tell you it's name, though. Please welcome to the market the 2006 Turbo Charged Bubble Popper XL-360!
Your bubble guaranteed to pop in just 10 days!
With this product, you will find yourself doing all the things you never did because you were too afraid to! You will be following impulses that will make your life more exciting like a MOVIE!
Impulses, you say, what kind of impulses? All the good ones. This product will help you realize that really any thing you want to do, even if it is not immediately socially acceptable, is perfectly fine, unless said activity harms the physical well being or the eternal progression or agency of yourself or others. Taking those few things out, you can do just about anything!
You want more specifics? These bubble popping impulses include:

  • Deciding to become a vegitarian without any warning.
  • Jaydancing instead of jaywalking.
  • Shouting "Allelujah" at random intervals.
  • Taking up a new hobby like origami or Uno.
  • Doing your homework with fingerpaint.
  • Becoming ambidextrous.
  • Giving high-fives to the neighborhood kids.
  • Buying flowers and giving them to homeless people.
  • Learning how to play the harmonica in your free time.
  • Playing said harmonica in sacrament meeting.
  • Writing backwards.
  • Wearing silly hats.
  • Disco dancing.
  • Throwing paper airplanes off heights.
  • Impulse sidewalk chalk buying.
  • Strange desires to learn to yo-yo.
  • Drinking abnormal amounts of root beer.
  • and so much more!
Too good to be true? It gets better!
Side effects include: Joy. Freedom of behavior. Realization that agency means more than choosing right over wrong, but better over good!
The essence of this product is that it allows you to ask yourself, "Will this action affect other people or myself in an adverse way? No? Then what's stopping me?"
This product is recommended by 9/10 doctors (the last doctor was in Fiji and we couldn't get ahold of him). It has not been tested on animals, although including your dog in on the fun is recommended.
Warning: do not give to children under the age of 7. It's like feeding them more sugar, and we all know they don't need that.

Testimonials:
After I started using the 2006 Turbo Charged Bubble Popper XL-360, I noticed that I wasn't so tense after a hard day. I came home in better spirits than I left that morning. It has worked wonders for my stress levels and my cooking! -Not Me from Bringhurst, Indiana

I decided to use the 2006 Turbo Charged Bubble Popper XL-360 when I realized that my talk in church last month was boring. Now I've seen the light and highly recommend this product to anyone who is looking for a solution to their dull life. -A Different Person from Jacksonville, Florida

As you see, this product will CHANGE YOUR LIFE! What are you waiting for?
Act now! End your life of monotony TODAY!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Dear God

Dear God,
I know you get this all the time, but I think you're pretty awesome. Life has been good to me, how about you? I can't complain too much. There are little things, but you already know about those.
But I do have a question: what were you thinking when you made me? Yeah. There you are giving everyone nice traits. Oh shy, witty, good with knitting, that'll make a nice librarian. or ambitious, good people skills, smooth talker, a born leader. And then at the end of making all these wonderful combinations of people, you say to yourself, "Let's see...what could make me laugh the most. Oh yes! A clumsy, absent-minded, talks-before-she-thinks, blasphemus, smart-but-not-smart-enough-for-her-aspirations, excited about everything she sees girl. Yeah. That'll be a riot. And so here I am. I'm glad I can give you a good laugh, but it'd be really nice if you gave me some direction.
Ok, yeah. I might be talking out of line, but you still love me.
Oh! Thanks for the snow today. Very nice. You know what would be wonderful, though? If you could help me clean my room. That needs to be done. And help me study for tomorrow's test and help me relax. I feel really tense all the time now. I blame finals. Yeah. One week and I'll be in Vegas, but you already knew that, eh?
So how about a game of hopscotch sometime? I bet you're pretty good at hopscotch. You might even be perfect. I don't know, though, I'm a mean hopscotch competitor. I'll give you a run for your money, sir.
Well, I'm sure you're busy and all, planning for the end of the world. Just hold off the little red button for a few days, ok?
Sounds good. I'll chat with you later on, you busy at about 4? Good.
And you know I don't mean to sound blasphemus. Well, I do, but I don't mean anything terrible by it. Blasphemy! Ok. Sorry, God.

I'm sorry.

The good thing about having only 4 hours of sleep and sitting here an hour and a half before a final I'm going to fail and a day before I fail another one and the day after I failed another final (but will pass the class) is that it really humbles you.
And now I'm going to do what God told me to do last year, but I was too stubborn to do: I'm going to change my major. I don't know to what. Don't ask me. It's just not going to be math.
I'm going to minor in math (since I pretty much have one of those).
I don't know what to do, music? english? agriculture? Who knows? Well, God knows, but at the moment, He's not telling me, so I'm at an impasse. In all seriousness, I'm considering English. Yeah. I know. 360. I know. I know. I know.
I feel like I've failed all of you. I've failed my friends back at home who knew me as a math person. I've failed Dr. Forcade who expects me to get into grad school with my math. I feel like I failed McKay because now he can't say that he's dating a math major (I'm sorry, man). And I've failed God for putting off this decision for a year (God, I know you told me to do this last October, but I just didn't know what to do. All I know is math. I didn't know any other choice. Okay, Okay. No excuses. I should have listened last year. Are you up to helping me now, even though it's a year late?)
Next semester will be a make-up semester with my grades. I'm retaking a couple of my math classes.
And I plan on graduating sometime in 2008 instead of 2007 (I hope. I don't know because I don't know what program I'm doing, so it's hard to predict.) I do have most of my Generals done. I just need Bio, Civ 2 (History of the printing press, here I come), my social science (I'm taking that next semester) and an arts (Music 101, my friends). I'm signed up for bio for next semester, I'm not sure if I'm doing it yet, though.
And I plan on not doing an REU this summer like I wanted to.
But I still plan on doing my research with Dr. Forcade and publishing that math paper and presenting it at the Spring Research Conference in March. I'll let you all know when it is so you can see me.
And if tomorrow's Daily Universe mentions a co-ed who died from falling off the SWKT, well, it won't be me, but it should.
And now I just wait. Revelation? You there? God? Hello?

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

duh.

Your results:
You are Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman
100%
Spider-Man
90%
Superman
85%
Green Lantern
80%
Supergirl
75%
Robin
70%
Iron Man
60%
The Flash
60%
Hulk
60%
Catwoman
55%
Batman
40%
You are a beautiful princess
with great strength of character.
Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Monday, December 12, 2005

the first day of finals



And I don't have any finals today!
and it's my birthday!
I'm old!
20!
And I want to thank everyone who emailed me and all that jazz for my birthday.
w00t!

Here's my To Do List for December 12, 2005!
Laundry
Study
clean your room
eat icecream

Sounds good, doesn't it?

Ooh! And last night was so much fun! I went to see Handel's Messiah with McKay up in Salt Lake City and then we walked around Temple Square to look at the Christmas lights, they are AMAZING!

One year from now, I'm having a kegger! You can buy rootbeer in kegs, you know.
And I'm getting a concealed weapons permit. Pretty awesome, eh?

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Short like Daisy Dukes

I don't typically use this space to comment on my personal life, so I'm going to make this short.
I have a boyfriend now. His name is McKay Farley.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Happiness is...


A NEW HAT!
So yeah. Next week's my birthday so I have some spare money to spend on myself. Hooray for birthday cards!
Well, yesterday, I went down to the mall to buy Christmas gifts for all of my roommates, and guess what?! I saw this Fedora sitting there. So I bought it. And it was on clearance! $6! That's a happy figure.
It's a black, pinstripe fedora with a little embroidery to flourish up the style. I'm so excited!. FEDORA!
Fedora is a really cool word, don't you think? I think I'll name one of my girls (when I get married and have children) Fedora. I already have a couple of awesome boys' names picked out, now I have a girl's. Hooray for Jesus, Paul, and Fedora!
Jesus will be pronounced exactly how you pronounce it at church. Frankly, I don't see why Americans can't name a son Jesus when all of Latin America can. I think it's a perfectly good name. And I think Christ is a perfectly good person (literally) to name someone after. And can you just imagine yourself, "Jesus! Did you clean your room? It's dinner time!" And I'm sure the ward will be slightly shocked. Sweetness. A slightly shocked ward is everything I've ever hoped for. Hooray for being offensive without really being offensive!
I chose Paul because he's an awesome New Testament apostle. He really is pretty awesome.
And now Fedora. Sweetness.
FEDORA!

Sunday, December 04, 2005

washing your makeup off

It was a good date. Milk shakes, quality comedic entertainment, a game of Uno. A goodnight hug.
He leaves you at your apartment. Walking to your room, you beam (and your roommates give you all these questioning looks).
Wait...You have makeup on, so instead of making it all the way to your room, you stop at the vanity to wash it off. You turn on the faucet, cup some water in your hands, and bend towards the clean feel of a washed face.
But, as you bend down towards the water in your hand, you look up at the mirror in front of you.
Wait that's what you looked like all night?
And then they come: the doubts.
It's really only one doubt: who on earth could like you? Well, you have friends; people like you well enough, but what about you would lead to someone being romantically interested in you?
So you stop in the middle of washing your face. Yeah. You have a round face. Who would like someone with a round face?
Your hair's a mess and you could probably stand to lose a few pounds. You're the biggest geek on the planet.
And yet, some guy likes you.
And it's a wonderful game.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Have you ever...

I mooched this off of Erin's blog. I don't normally do these types of things, but hey, what the heck.
Smoked a cigarette. Uh-uh.
Smoked a joint. Never.
Drank a beer. No way Jose.
Drank any other kind of alcohol. Nope.
Crashed a car. Yes.
Stolen a car. Nope
Been in love. Yesiree.
Had a threesome. Nope
Been dumped. Yes.
Shoplifted. No.
Been fired. Yes and it was really stupid, too. Ask me about it sometime.
Been in a fistfight. No, but I've almost been. It was close. For some reason, guys won't hit girls.
Snuck out of the house. Yes. Three times. Successfully.
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. Yes
Been arrested. No
Made out with a stranger. No
Gone on a blind date. Yes
Lied to a friend. Yes
Had a crush on a teacher. No
Been to Europe. Ja, klar. Kitzingen, Bayern, Deutschland.
Skipped school. Yes
Seen someone die. No
Been to Canada. Yes
Been to Mexico. Nope
Been on a plane. Yes
Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Parts of it. It's on my list of things to see.
Thrown up in a bar. No
Purposely set a part of yourself on fire. No
Eaten Sushi. Nope. I'm actually a little scared to do so...
Been snowboarding. Yep.
Met someone from the internet in person. Yes.
Been moshing at a concert. No, but I really wanted to. John was being over-proctective and wouldn't let me. Next time, though. Next time.
Been in an abusive relationship. No...eh? Depends on your definition of abusive, probably.
Taken painkillers. For my wisdom teeth, aye.
Love someone or miss someone right now. Yes. Yes I do.
Laid and watched cloud shapes go by. Yes
Made a snow angel. Heck yes!
Had a tea party. No.
Flown a kite. Yes. Even a kite I made myself.
Built a sand castle. Yes
Gone puddle jumping. Yes. Last week.
Played dress up. Yes. All the time
Jumped into a pile of leaves. Yes
Gone sledding. Yes
Cheated while playing a game. Yes- Heads up seven up, 3rd grade, I peeked at the shoes of the person who put my thumb down.
Been lonely. Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school. Yes
Used a fake ID. No
Watched the sun set. Yes
Felt an earthquake. No
Touched a snake. Yes
Slept beneath the stars. Yes
Been tickled. Yes
Been robbed. Yes
Been misunderstood. Yes
Pet a reindeer/goat. Yes.
Won a contest. Yes
Run a red light. Twice. I felt really guilty after both times.
Been suspended from school. No
Been in a car accident. Yes- I crashed a car, didn't I?
Had braces. Nope.
Felt like an outcast. Yes
Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night. um. yeah. not just a pint...
Had deja vu. Yes
Danced in the moonlight. Yes
Hated the way you look. Yes
Witnessed a crime. No.
Pole danced. Umm...next question, please...
...Fine! I haven't, but it's on my list of things to learn.
Been obsessed with post-it notes. No
Walked barefoot through the mud. Yes
Been lost. Yes
Been to the opposite side of the world. No
Swam in the ocean. Yes
Felt like dying. Yes
Cried yourself to sleep. Yes
Played cops and robbers. Yes. Once with the neighborhood kids. We played King of the Mountain more.
Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers. Yes
Sung karaoke. Yes
Paid for a meal with only coins. Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't. Yes
Made prank phone calls when you were younger. No.
Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose. Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue. Yes- yesterday, actually.
Danced in the rain. Yes
Written a letter to Santa Claus. Yes
Been kissed under the mistletoe. No. I don't even think I've ever seen mistletoe in real life.
Watched the sunrise with someone you care about. No. Also on my list of things to do.
Blown bubbles. Yes
Had a bonfire on the beach. No
Crashed a party. Yes
Gone roller-skating. Yes
Had a wish come true. Yes
Worn pearls. Yes. I love pearls.
Jumped off a bridge. No
Screamed the word “penis” in public. No. I'm not Melanie Medic, you know.
Ate dog/cat food. No
Told a complete stranger you loved them. Yes.
Kissed a mirror.Yes
Sang in the shower. Yes
Owned a little black dress. Yes. Who hasn't? Who doesn't?
Had a dream that you married someone. Yes
Glued your hand to something. Yes.
Got your tongue stuck to a flagpole. No, but it's very tempting
Worn the opposite sex's clothes. Yes
Been a cheerleader. No
Sat on a rooftop. Yes
Screamed at the top of your lungs. Yes
Done a one-handed cartwheel. I can't even to a two-handed one.
Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours. No
Stayed up all night. No
Didn't take a shower for a week. No
Picked and ate an apple right off the tree. Yes
Climbed a tree. Yes
Had a tree house. No
Are scared to watch scary movies. No
Believe in ghosts. Yes.
Have more than 30 pairs of shoes. No
Worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say. No
Gone streaking. Does running from the bathroom to my bedroom count?
Gone skinny-dipping. No
Played ding-dong-ditch. Yes
Played chicken. No, but I'm planning on it. List of things to do...
Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on. No
Been told you're beautiful by a complete stranger. You know, I can count on my hand the number of people who have said I'm beautiful. I can count on one finger the number of people who actually meant it and wasn't trying to get some.
Broken a bone. No
Been easily amused. Yes
Caught a fish then ate it. No
Caught a butterfly. Yes
Laughed so hard you cried. Yes
Cried so hard you laughed. Yes
Puked and laid in it. Yes. I was really sick and I really didn't feel like moving.
Had sex in the back seat of a car. No. Haven't had sex. Go me!
So yeah. that was productive...

Other interesting things: I've never had a nose bleed. I've been stung by bees 3 times, and I once at 8 root beer floats in one sitting.