Tuesday, February 27, 2007

McKay is in Trouble

He has been a very terrible person lately. Look what he signed us up for! He thinks that I'll be more likely to run if I'm signed up for something and we PAID for it. Much punishment on him!

I've never run more than a mile my whole life (I think), and he expects me to do more than 3 in less than a month!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Induction

You meet the family, get married, do laundry together, but what really makes you a wife?

Slipped under our door, I found an invitation: the invitation that makes me a real American wife:

Pampered Chef party.



Haha! Someone invited me to a buy-things party. My mom goes to those, your mom goes to those, and now I do. And I'm getting myself a baking stone!

Friday, February 23, 2007

Lent and a half

So I completely missed Mardi Gras. I don't even remember Tuesday night. No, I was not drunk; I was taking an analysis test, which, medically*, creates the same effect. And then, I forgot that Wednesday was Ash Wednesday and Lent had begun. I'd have made a TERRIBLE Catholic, the way I am about remembering their holidays. So here I am, three days later, giving something up for Lent. Let's see here...what really needs giving up? I couldn't give up semicolons; I love them too much.

Okay. We'll make a deal. Me and the god of Lent. How about instead of giving up something this year, I decide to take on a good habit**. Sounds good to you? Me, too. I've decided to run.

Ok. I can't stand running, but I know it's good for me. I'm going to do it. You can't stop me! Except that it snowed this morning, which will make running more unpleasant than it already was. Alas!


*Study still yet to be done, but I know it's true. You should see me after those tests! It's scary! It's kind of like how I was this morning, or any time after I eat***.

**No, I'm not trying to pull one over on you; we all know I've decided to take on a good habit because I'm too fond of my bad ones.

***Food has the same effect on me as it does a 7 year old: energy beyond necessity. I keep telling McKay to stop feeding me and I'll stop playing helicopter in the living room (you know, spinning in a circle with your arms out), but he insists on buying food. Silly man.

I win!

My lifelong dream of finding a faulty vending machine has come true. Last Friday, with 50 cents to my name, I held a button long enough that 2 ice creams vended.
They said it was impossible...
They said it couldn't be done...
"They" are/is McKay.
"Maybe it'd work for mechanical machines, but not the computerized ones on campus," he said.
How wrong was he? I have two empty popsicle sticks that say otherwise.

And now he knows the truth. In fact, I showed him how to do it. He went to the Talmage, swiped his card, chose ChocoTaco, and held the button...

And it worked! And the great thing is not only did it work, but it worked on an icecream that I hadn't chosen last week...this may mean that no icecream in that vending machine is safe!

I win! Computers:0 me: 2 icecreams!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

The Real Reason we have husbands

Wednesday, 21 February 2007

5:00pm McKay and I drive home from Brick Oven.
4:40pm McKay and I now own a blue balloon animal in the shape of a cougar.
4:20-4:30pm We wait for the "it'll be ready in 1-2 minutes" spinach-avocado dip appetizer.
4:15pm I spill root beer float.
4:10pm We count the number of strings of lights that aren't on in the dining room.
4:00pm Out the door
3:45pm McKay suggests we go out to dinner.
3:30pm McKay opens the car door for me.
3:21-3:28pm We notice and discuss the little shops along University Ave.
3:20pm I meet McKay in the crosswalk right in the middle of 400 North.
3:18pm I spy McKay!
3:12pm The elevator speaks to me with a woman's voice "Main Floor", and I head outside.
3:10pm I discover how "great and spacious" the building of Wells Fargo on 100 North is during a search for the bathroom and note the possible exits.
3:00pm I get off the phone with McKay
2:50pm I call McKay, but don't reach him, I try again 5 minutes later.
2:45pm I listen to the conversation next to me between the teller and customer, "and then I was, 'you have HOW many nurseries in your ward?' 'Yeah I completely understand. My wife and I just bought a house, before we even had a job out here and...'"
2:40pm I wait for the teller at the bank to order some checks for us. He's looking up somebody else's account and asks one of the other tellers to "check out this account."
2:35pm I give my ID to the bank teller, realizing I'm wearing the same shirt that I wore at the DMV.
2:31pm I am slightly weirded out.
2:30pm A man with white hair and a pony tail passes by me in front of Wells Fargo, telling me to "smile because you look gorgeous today".
2:28pm I try to reach down the crack in the car window.
2:26pm I realize I locked myself out of the car.

And that is why we have husbands.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Super Powers

Inspired by this question, I will now discuss my super power options.

If I had a superpower...

Practical things:
Super math skills- winning millions!
Cloning myself so I can get more things done.
A dishwasher.
Super Charm: Everybody would have to love me even if they didn't want to. Somehow the irony is beautiful.

Wishful things:
Flying. And if I could fly, I wouldn't need teleportation, because flying would be so much more fun.
Super strength (so I could break dance)
Super speed
Super memory (no more need for computers!)
Super "inventability" (then I could make teleportation stalls (see below))
Flexibility (like Elastigirl)
Control over gravity. Oh! Too many beautiful ideas! It'd be hilarious (bam! Everyone is floating!) and practical (prevent wrinkles as I get older). And who hasn't wanted to float, really?

Things I didn't mention and why:
Teleportation. When I was younger, I thought it would be a good idea to install teleportation stalls in bathrooms. You'd go into the stall, chose which bathroom you'd like to zap to and show up in another teleportation stall. It would have made getting around school nicer in high school. Bathrooms are everywhere, so chances are, there is one near where you'd like to be. Okay! It was a crazy idea, but you'd save hundreds on gas and airline tickets. Well, if we could make teleportation stalls, I wouldn't need the superpower.
Super wealth (like Batman). I intend to have this someday :) so it doesn't go under wishful.

Superpowers I'd like McKay to have:
Telepathic abilities. It'd be so much easier if he could read my mind.
Actually, every other thing I thought of for him goes under telepathy. Maybe it'd be cool if he had telekinetics abilities. If we forgot something at home, we wouldn't have to go back and get it. That would be pretty sweet.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

The Death of a Wedding Dress

(or the breathing of life back into it)

Tonight, Kathy is coming over to buy my wedding dress. I had her try it on a couple of weeks ago and she loved it, and after going dress shopping last Saturday, she's decided that mine's the best and I've got great taste. I'll agree with her on that one. And I just earned +2 conceitedness points.

Anyway, I've received a lot of mixed reactions from people about selling the dress. Melissa was very surprised. She said her mom kept hers and she'll probably do that, also. My mom kept hers, but I've never seen it as it's in a box and she claims it has yellowed out.

Also, my sister is upset and wanted me to keep the dress for her to wear; oh well. It'd be nice to wear the same dress, but I'm a big fan of individualism. And also, I don't want to carry a wedding dress around for the next few years on the offchance it'll stay in style and she'll be my size. And those are the exact reasons I don't keep it for my daughters (if I have any, I might just have boys, who knows?)

Carolyn's dress was sealed very securely (and without her notice--she wanted to keep the shoes, but they sealed those, too). She says all you can see is that it's white fabric and that's all (her dress was very simple and non-ornamental because that's how she is)- not very exciting.

This reminds me of my mom's Barbies. I was never allowed to play with them, but she had them, nevertheless, in her closet. They are probably worth something now and my late great-uncle offered to buy them once from her, but she still has them. My philosophy is this: toys are toys, wedding dresses are wedding dresses. Toys should be played with and wedding dresses should be worn at weddings. Neither should be left in a closet with the small chance of getting them out someday. It's not like you can carry them to your grave, anyway. What would I need a wedding dress for in the eternities anyway? I'll have the perfect body, and my dress probably won't fit me anyways.

So really, I'm glad my wedding dress will be useful to someone else. I don't need it, but if Kathy can have a wonderful day in it, all the better.

Friday, February 09, 2007

what don't you know about me?

So Beth tagged me and I'm supposed to let you know 5 things about me that you don't already know. That's great because the people who read my blog (besides my parents) are people who've either met me and don't know a lot about me or people who've never met me. So 5 things, eh?

  1. Shoe size: between 5-6, wide (WIDE)
  2. Favorite hymn: Praise to the Lord, the Almighty (Hymn 72 in the standard LDS hymnal)
  3. Middle name: Renee
  4. Favorite TV series: Firefly (Shiny!)
  5. Favorite book: Alcott's Little Women
Oh. So you think I took the easy way out, eh? Not very interesting you say? You got me, I am probably the most uninteresting person you'll meet.

So for real:
  1. When I was in second grade and I first saw a model of the gravitational fields around the sun and planets in the Solar System, I decided that the universe is really 2-dimensional, but because the plane that is the universe was so twisted up on itself, it appeared to be 3-dimensional. I used to try to walk the same way to and from the class room/home/playground to make sure that I wasn't the one responsible for twisting up the plane. I would swing at recess watching the other students play tag and think, "They're twisting up the plane! They aren't going to know how to undo it!"
  2. I have always wanted to be good at sculpting. I was terrible in art class in junior high, but I'd like to learn. Particularly, I'd like to do a paper sculpture of Christ's millennial return. I'd also like to sculpt like Helaman Ferguson. Also, I'd like to come up with algorithms like Dr. Ferguson (he and Dr. Forcade, my advisor/mentor, created the Ferguson-Forcade algorithm, named one of the top ten algorithms of the twentieth century by SIAM). Anyway, this summer I plan on taking a sculpture class to try it out again.
  3. I do a lot of things that people wouldn't have thought I would do. Many examples: I was a vegetarian for a month, I've eaten ice cream off a plate, and I was in the Miss Teen of Illinois Pageant summer 2002. That's all I'm going to say about that.
  4. I dream every night, and they are always strange dreams. Ask McKay sometime; I tell him all my crazy dreams. Also, ask him why he prefers waffles to babies.
  5. I don't like doctors. I dread getting pregnant and having to go to a doctor on a regular basis. In fact, I'd rather just do an unassisted birth at home. And by unassisted, I mean NO ONE ALLOWED. I've already told McKay that if I go into labor, I'll call him at work once it's over. He'll walk in the door and I'll go, "Hey McKay! Look who I found! You won't believe where they were hiding" hahaha! Oh so beautiful.
So I'm supposed to tag people now. I'll get back to you on that. The thing is, all my friends from home don't use Blogger; they use inferior methods called xanga or myspace or live journal. I could tag them with those I suppose. I just have to decide now...

(days later....)
I tag Emily! And Cheryl! Amanda! (Two more coming soon). For those who have been tagged, come up with 5 things we don't know about you and post them and tag 5 more people.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Why the Bears Lost

What makes the 2007 Bears different from their 1985 counterparts, besides the fact that the 1985 team were gods of football?

The Superbowl Shuffle.

Can't win if you don't have a song to party to afterwards. Tsk. Tsk.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Spring

So Phil couldn't find his shadow, eh?

It's a very rare occasion that Phil will predict an early spring. Maybe that's because we all know better. We all know that winter will continue through April.

But it's nice to hear that maybe, winter will throw the towel in early. I know I'd like to breathe air that's not filled with 2 week old smog. That sort of idea is attractive to me, somehow.

Also, it seems this country needs the hope that spring will come early.

Thank you, Puxatawney!