Friday, October 31, 2008

My Kind of Legislation

When this election is over, I'm writing to my state senators and representatives.

While breastfeeding in public is currently legal and supposedly protected in Utah, in practice it's not.

Last March a lady in our playgroup, was asked to "cover up" while breastfeeding in a Gold's Gym establishment, where she had a membership. She did follow up with the company and related Utah's laws to them, defending her position. But she was flustered and upset that in a state where she's supposedly "protected" she really couldn't do much.

The current legislation (Utah State Code 10-8-50, item 3) states:

(3) (a) A woman's breast feeding, including breast feeding in any location where she otherwise may rightfully be, does not under any circumstance constitute a lewd or indecent act, irrespective of whether or not the breast is covered during or incidental to feeding.
(b) Boards of commissioners and city councils of cities may not prohibit a woman's breast feeding in any location where she otherwise may rightfully be, irrespective of whether the breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breast feeding.
But what if a mother is asked to leave? or cover up? ridiculed? harassed? What repercussions are there to the establishment?

None. Sure, she has a right to be there, but who enforces that right? Nobody.

This isn't good enough.

Some states have breastfeeding laws that have more teeth. For example, Illinois law states (I'm just quoting the teethy part of the law),
A woman who has been denied the right to breastfeed by the owner or manager of a public or private location, other than a private residence or place of worship, may bring an action to enjoin future denials of the right to breastfeed. If the woman prevails in her suit, she shall be awarded reasonable attorney's fees and reasonable expenses of litigation.
Their law even recommends (but sadly, doesn't require) employers to provide a place and breaks for working mothers to express/pump milk other than a bathroom stall and excludes breastfeeding mothers from jury duty. Not surprisingly, a certain Illinois Senator co-sponsored this bill. Hooray for him and the other legislators.

In Vermont, a mother "may file a charge of discrimination with the human rights commission ... or may bring an action for injunctive relief and compensatory and punitive damages and any other appropriate relief in the superior court of the county in which the violation is alleged to have occurred." Taken from here- I couldn't find it on the Vermont website.

This is what we need in Utah- it's what is needed everywhere. Ideally, we wouldn't need to legislate protection for a hungry child- it shouldn't be an issue. I hope someday we get to that point.

It might seem like a small matter, but you can definitely gauge the success of a society by how they treat women and children.

How does your state measure up? And if you run into harassment for feeding your child, contact FirstRight.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Friday Fill-ins

1. My favorite food seasoning is cajun. Cajun is French for "Use as much of this as possible. Seriously- buy an extra bottle or two."
2. When McKay says, "I'm done with all my homework," it is music to my ears.
3. Lucky is finding a penny on the sidewalk.
4. Breastfeeding is something I take very seriously.
5. Many people will vote for hope.
6. McKay's deodorant was the last thing I bought at the store.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to the ward Halloween party, tomorrow my plans include handing out literature for RaDene Hatfield and Sunday, I want to cook lasagna!

Blog Makeover

I won another blog contest last week. (Woohoo!)

What did I win? A blog makeover. I can pick any of these blog designs. Problem is, I don't know what to pick. I'm quite the indecisive person. They are all beautiful.

I am leaning away from holiday ones because this is an all-year-round blog. :)

I'm interested in your opinion. You can vote at the left- and you can vote for more than one.

You can also vote "none" if you'd like. Perhaps it's all too frilly for you, I understand that. I can instead redeem a scrapbook kit if I'd like- I just thought maybe I'd re-do my blog since I don't really scrapbook. :)

So vote! You have until the end of election day!

DITL

So I had the best intentions to do a Day In the Life post taking a picture every hour. It worked for the morning, not so much in the afternoon.

8:16. My baby was asleep.


9:05 The baby woke up and took a bath! She wasn't actually in need of a bath, but I needed a shower and the best way to get a shower is to sit her in the tub, too.

This next picture looks mischievous. Really, I just can't frame a picture.


10:30 We gave a lady in the ward a ride to a surgery rehab place- in the waiting room there were birds. I also got lectured on not abusing my baby (and also that I shouldn't use the word 'kid') from an old man in the waiting room. I was just playing on the floor with Margaret, so I don't know what merited the lecture- I'm sure he was just trying to be kind. How do you respond to that though? "Don't worry. I love her and take good care of her?"


Later I went to the store with a friend. We were getting stuff to make Halloween treats.

These are supposed to be candy corn shaped. At least some are triangular?


I don't know when this next one was taken...


Halloween Party! I think the red eye makes them look more evil :)


We won cookies for best themed family. And a little house-favorite prize. :)
And for those of you concerned- it's a wig. I didn't dye my hair. :)

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Breakthroughs in EC

Margaret is 7 months old today. I'm doing a DITL post tomorrow for this.

In the meantime, Margaret is amazing with EC. Yesterday, McKay put her on the potty and did the "psss" sound and signed toilet. Margaret then responded with a "puh" sound. McKay asked, "Do you think she's doing the 'psss' sound?"

Hmmm. Maybe. She doesn't have top teeth yet, so maybe the 'sss' is too hard. Or she's saying "potty."

Later that day, I put her on the potty and she did the 'puh' sound again. Confirmation!

And again this morning yet some more 'puh' sound! Sweet! I hope she can do it before she needs to go so I can get her to the potty.

And this morning after her bath, I figured I'd let her have some naked butt time. I was washing some longies in the bathroom and she was playing in the living room- door was open and I could see her. She starts crawling to me. When she reached my feet, she peed. No dribble of pee on the way, just when she got to me. It was like she needed to go, and so she came to me. I didn't realize what she wanted at the time- at least it was on the floor of the bathroom- easier to clean!

Anyway, it's amazing. Originally, I started just putting her on the potty after naps- and suddenly I get the mom sense to put her on the potty other times- and my mom sense is right. It's kind of strange. I read on one EC site that even starting part time, you'll tend to do it more as you practice because you just become more aware and you can't ignore it- so very true, so very true.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

All about the hat

Last week, I found this lovely hat at DI for $10- not too bad. (click to zoom in)

The tag on the inside says "Gage" in the same cursive script found here, so I'm assuming this hat was made by Gage Brothers & Co. Even with my mad googling skills, I wasn't able to find much about the company. They started making hats in 1856; I've found newspaper clippings dating around 1890-1940. My best guess is to say that the hat was made in the early 20th century- it's possibly 60 or more years old. The netting is torn at one place, but overall it's in good condition. The tags even say "union made" so I know the workers got paid.

Margaret's a better model:

Monday, October 27, 2008

Consumer Reports: Birth too high-tech

Although this has already been blogged by Crunchy Domestic Goddess (Amy), I figured it wouldn't hurt to give it more press.

Consumer Reports reported on a new study about maternity care in the US. Conclusion? Less is more. They even have an informative quiz- reminding us that induction is risky, epidurals aren't side-effect-free, and due dates aren't legitimate (really? Because I was sure...).

I'm glad that Consumer Reports is picking up on this. Maybe it can enlighten just a few more people.

It mentions 6 interventions that should be reserved for high-risk women, NOT the every-day low risk mom.

  • Induction
  • Epidural
  • Cesarean section
  • Electronic fetal monitoring
  • Rupturing Membranes
  • Episiotomy
Most women are low-risk- then why are most women receiving one or more of those interventions? The Report replies, "money and liability (for the hospital) and convenience."

In my book, the risks of these interventions definitely outweigh the benefit of money and convenience.

Take the time to read Amy's view. Take the little mini-quiz. At the end of the article it also mentions 6 actions that we should be promoting including early skin-to-skin contact and birthing in upright standing/squatting positions.

Soft Spoken

Last night, a friend of mine introduced me to the book, The Soft Spoken Parent by H. Wallace Goddard.

I had a chance to skim/read the first half. It's an easy read, so it wasn't hard to get through it. As a book it's more of a "How to Change your Perspective As a Parent" instead of "How to Discipline your Children." I really liked that approach. Discipline isn't "How can I control my child and get her to do what I want;" it's, "How do I respond like Christ?"

Goddard is an LDS author and uses quotes from General Authorities and the scriptures. In the Introduction, he emphasizes this scripture:

Ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, and it is also written before you, that thou shalt not kill, and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment of God; But I say unto you, that whosoever is angry with his brother shall be in danger of his judgment. And whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council; and whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire (3 Nephi 12:21–22).
I really like this- not only does he remind us that we're supposed to only speak kindly of and towards other people, he reminds us that this also applies to our children. We shouldn't get angry or frustrated with our children, we should respond to them with kindness.

Goddard is honest- and knows that we aren't perfect parents. The book is in workbook form because he acknowledges that we are works in progress as parents.

So yes, I definitely recommend it.

You can read an excerpt here.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Friday Fill-ins

1. Right now, I'm feeling unworthy to wield a sewing machine- I'm a little worried about how these costumes are going to turn out. I hope the costume police can't find me.
2. In a library is where I want to be.
3. How does one more chance sound?
4. The clock keeps me on track.
5. Please don't vote Republican this election- anyone would be better than McCain- write yourself in if you can't find someone else, but don't pick McCain.
6. Good advice from someone I trust (Thanks McKay!) fills me with joy.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to finishing the Dr. Horrible costumes, tomorrow my plans include a birthday costume party and Sunday, I want to do a jig!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Freebirthing

Last night at 9pm and 12am on the Discovery Health Channel, a documentary was aired about unassisted childbirth. I was interviewed for this a year ago- I didn't make the cut for the documentary, though, but I was in the commercial for it. Sweet! I'm famous!

It was originally shown earlier this year in Britain under the name "Outlaw Births." The title for America is "Freebirthing." You can see some clips here.

It's being shown again on the 25th in the morning.

Just thought people would want to know. Tivo it or something. :) We don't get cable, so we can't watch it. Alas!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Cafepress

I love cafepress. They have the coolest shirts there. One of my favorite stores is Evil Genius Woman's store.

My favorite is the shirt with this printed on it:
So much of what is marketed to little girls (and women in general) boxes them into stereotypes. I try to avoid clothing that does that- hence me "fixing" some of Margaret's onesies earlier this year.

I saw this the other day and enjoyed it. The other Target: Women segments are great, too.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Meta Blogging

I was thinking about why I blog. When I started blogging 3 years ago, it was sort of like a creative writing assignment for myself. Now it's a little bit more like a soap box. That is probably an understatement.

I've been thinking about what I want out of blogging.

A part of me has been wanting a creative blog again. A part of me wants to combine my knitting blog with this one. A part of me wants to have a funny blog on the lines of lowercase "L" or the unnecessary quotes blogs. A part of me wants a great information-packed blog. And another part of me is still confused why I called this blog "The Bee in Your Bonnet" or "It's All About the Hat"- I'm still working on which one I actually prefer, if either.

And then there's blogs I enjoy like What About Mom even though I'm not 100% sure what it's about.

What do you blog about? Has your blog changed form? Who is your main audience?

And if you want to explain this to me: What do you think my blog is about?

Luck

I was hesistant to post this because I didn't want to sound TAMN-ish.

You know those giveaways on blogs that it seems like everyone else wins but not you? I won one. This one.

Huzzah! New sling! Cute clothes! Lotions I don't know a whole lot about, but will be still very exciting!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Private vs. Public

Blogs

In the past few months, I've run into the same message on many blogs:
Dear Readers, We're making our blog private. Let us know your email so you can see our new blog.
This is some blog etiquette that I struggle with.

Why I won't go private
I know I'm on the Internet and the Internet is public. If I wanted it to be private between me and some family/friends I'd write an email and BCC it to all those family/friends, because that's basically what a private blog is.

Yes, there are safety concerns, but I try not to post anything that gives away our personal information. Sure it's obvious that we live in Provo and you know our names, but you can't come by and throw rocks in our window based off of information on this blog, so I'm fine with that.

I love the community that public blogging creates. I have found great blogs and bloggers through blog-hopping off of the comments I've received here. I don't want that to end. That's the fun of blogging: finding people with similar and different interests. I love it when lurkers leave a comment and I can find their blog and lurk on theirs.
This is also why I love Ravelry, too (you can lurk on people's knitting projects!). Just wanted to give ravelry a plug. :)

Why I won't subscribe to your private blog
First, it's awkward, "Hey, I've been blog-stalking you. Can I blog-stalk you some more?" Even if it's someone I know in real life (and most of them are), it's still an awkward conversation. When people go private, they do it to monitor who's reading their blog. I always imagine receiving this in return: Sorry, the reason we're going private is because of you- we just don't like you that much. So, no, you can't read our private blog.

If you really want me to subscribe to your private blog, you'll send me an email saying, "Hey, I want you to subscribe to my private blog because I like you." If you just do the "Give us your email" post, I'm not subscribing because that risk of rejection is just too high for me. It's like a special clique club that I know I'm not invited to because life experience (or high school) has told me I'm just not that cool. I'm not going to ask you to add me because I'm not going to risk it. My self-esteem is fragile enough.

Also, I depend a lot on Google Reader. Private blogs don't have RSS feeds, so I'm not going to read them anyway. If you google "subscribing to private blogs RSS" you find some advice to private bloggers: send an email to the readership so they know when you post. But then we're back to just emailing and BCCing the post.

So that's why I won't go private and I probably won't subscribe to your private blog. It's just one of those things.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Stuff I See

Sometimes I see things. And then I take a picture.

First, this reminded me of this blog. It's not the car that's the issue: it's the toy. Bad parking starts young, I suppose.



Every time I pass this pole, I think to myself, If I were to vandalize one thing today...

...I'd add the words 'me, Seymour' underneath the sign.

I would do it, too, except that McKay reminds me that vandalism is a crime.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Friday Fill-ins

1. Follow the nerds.
2. Knitting needles is something I always take with me on vacation.
3. To achieve your goals, you must prioritize and adapt- sometimes you have to wait until a different season of your life.
4. I'm planning on doing my graduate work in Women's Studies is something I'd like you to know about me.
5. I have a knack for googling- I can find most anything on the Internet.
6. Spit up floats. (We've taken a couple of baths the past two days because of this.)
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to having McKay home early, perhaps?, tomorrow my plans include going to a baby shower and Sunday, I want to play the piano!



Hot hot teething

So she slept until noon with a small fever yesterday (100). She was her good ol' self until LLL that night when the fever came back and she went back to nursing and falling asleep at the breast. After I got home, we took her temperature: 102. Plus she's projectile spitting up. Or vomiting. What's the difference between spit up and breastmilk vomit? It seems the same to me. I'm glad we still sleep on a towel at night. The towel was originally to keep my overactive letdown from soaking the bed. Now it's used for surprise spit ups in the night. And my overactive letdown, which is still pretty full force 6 months later.

We did get some progress, though. The tooth that McKay projected Saturday to come in did break through last night. From what I can tell, their fever goes away once the tooth breaks through, so I'm sure it's not long now. She now has 3 bottom teeth.

Maybe it's bad of me, but I was kind of hoping this was something like rubella or mumps or even fifth's disease or chickenpox. Nothing like getting your childhood diseases before they'll actually hurt you and then receiving life-long immunity. Darn it. Sorry everyone. The mumps party won't happen.

When she wakes up, it's off to the laundromat for us ($1 washes on Thursdays!). I feel bad taking her out, but our laundry does need to get done. She can just nurse and cuddle the whole time if she'd like. And sometime today I need to get to the grocery store. It's been two weeks since I've gone and we've run out of milk and eggs and any breakfast foods. I made pancakes this morning out of water, flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Not bad, but they would have been better with milk and eggs.

And we'll see if we go to playgroup or the EC meeting...

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Back to Mom-dom

So yesterday was great in the fact that I got a lot done (cleaned the tub, finished the baby legs, did some dishes, exercised, had dinner ready when McKay came home), but Margaret was really attached to my breast and not sleeping well. By the bedtime, she had a fever of 101. We think it's due to teething, since she has no other symptoms except fever and acting not well. No runny nose, no cough, no goopy eyes. Just a fever.

This morning it's gone down a bit, but I probably won't be as productive today.

Despite not feeling well, Margaret learned to crawl on her knees last night- no more army crawl.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Learning about Parenting

I know I posted about treating your children with respect and I completely believe in it, but I'll admit it takes a conscious effort, to say the least. I was noticing how I need to work on this recently.

Margaret puts everything in her mouth. Everything- including things that aren't very good for her. What's my gut reaction? Take it away. So that's what I do. Wednesday night while Margaret was devouring a catalog, I took it away, swiped her mouth for various paper pieces and then watched as Margaret gave me the saddest sad face in the world. That's not fair! I'm sure that's what she was thinking.

She's right. It's not fair. I think children are born with an innate sense of fairness and justice. They know when someone's done them wrong. I think a sense of fairness is important for survival. Margaret was right, I had been unfair.

I don't want Margaret to learn that it's ok to just take something from someone and yet here I am doing that, and I'm being disrespectful. I don't tear things out of other people's hands but I do hers. How is that fair? I need a better way to handle this.

So we're going to try trading. I know what her favorite toys are and I'll trade away whatever craziness she's trying to devour, that way I'm not being unfair or disrespectful to her as a person. Up until this point in her life, parenting was simply responding to her needs and trusting her when she needed something. Now she's becoming more of a person; it's actually turning into "parenting." This should be fun.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Outlining the Crunch

I think a lot of people get confused at what is Attachment Parenting and what it isn't. Where's the line between crunch and AP? I'm going to try to outline it.

What is AP?
I've mentioned what AP is to me. I'll reiterate: respecting your child as a person. Basically it's a general attitude that can be applied to how you interact with your child in feeding, sleeping, playing. Attachment Parenting International's website outlines it well.

Now I'll outline "crunchy" things. You can give respect to your baby and be AP without being "crunchy." There are people who are both crunchy and AP. You can be as crunchy/non-crunchy as you want and still practice attachment parenting.

Things that crunch:
Not buying processed food, eating organic, vegetarian to different degrees, raw food, Lactivism, Recycling, Re-using, Reducing, Loving the Earth, cloth diapering, buying local, fair trade, alternative energy, being self-sustaining, elimination communication, not circumcising, delayed/selective vaccinations, no vax, herbal remedies, alternative care doctors such as chiropractors, naturopaths, homeopaths, drug-free births, homebirth, birthing centers, midwifery, unassisted pregnancy and birth


Other things of note: Co-sleeping is simply sharing a room. Bed-sharing is included with co-sleeping, but you can co-sleep without bed-sharing. Also, although breastfeeding is very AP it doesn't have an AP monopoly. At the API site, it discusses how to bottlefeed using AP practices.

If you want to add to the list of crunch, let me know.

Overwhelmed

So I've been overwhelmed this week. Dare I give you my To Do list? I probably should since I might be more apt to do it if I make it public.

  • Fold yesterday's laundry. Yes, it is in a pile on my couch.
  • Do the dishes (is this ever not on my list?)
  • Buy yarn
  • Buy fabric for Margaret's Halloween costume
  • Make the costume
  • Make up longies (I know I said I'd do them last weekend- I did finish knitting some though)
  • Take pictures of my finished knitting
  • Knit another baby leg, doll, hat for Margaret, hat for Beth, socks
  • Get to the post office
  • Grocery shopping- it's been over a week.
  • Actually eat breakfast and lunch
  • Make dinner- hello crockpot!
Margaret's hit a growth spurt. It's just nursing nursing nursing. This means that the list above won't get tackled much.

I'm not the only one, though. That's something, right? Good company.


Babies Don't Keep
By Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due,
Lullabye, rockaby, lullabye loo.
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo,
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo,
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs;
Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Friday Fill-ins

1. One of the best concerts/plays/movies I ever saw that I really didn't think I'd like was
Transformers
.
2. Middle Eastern Tacos (eggplant, onion, red pepper, homemade hummus, yogurt) is a recipe I recently made (or meal I recently ordered) that was delicious!
3. It's time for winter to start- winter storm brewing for Utah this weekend.
4. Throwing out old bank statements is quite refreshing.
5. If I never hear the words "what if" again, it'll be too soon.
6. To one side of the curving road was a canyon wall, and on the other was a waterfall.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to buying fabric for Margaret's costume, tomorrow my plans include a party at Tamsin's house and Sunday, I want to (can't tell...it's a secret)!

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Another photo tag

So I just got tagged again, this time by Carrie. Would you believe I have yet another photo in the 4th place in my "Photos" folder?

Last time I gave you the 4th photo in the most recent "roll" (we use iPhoto). This is the fourth photo in the whole iPhoto library:
McKay knitting a hat for his mom. This was a while ago. Look at him furrow his brow!

Photo Tag

I think I was tagged a week ago or so by Melissa. Sorry I'm late in doing this.

I'm supposed to post the 4th picture in my picture folder. I have one "Pictures" folder and one "Photos"

From "Pictures":
It's my Uncle Dennis, Aunt Marcela, and cousin Marcelita at her communion, I think.

From "Photos":
Margaret, of course!

Issues that I care about

Sifting through issues is time consuming. So here's a rundown of what I actually care about and my thoughts on the matter. It's not comprehensive, for sure. Every time I go to a candidate's page I run into something that turns me off from them and it seems like the issues I'm passionate about change as I go from page to page. It's very, "Oh. That's a great idea....wait, they want to do what? Let's find a candidate that won't suggest that... Oh. Here's one. Good Good, wait, no. Not with you on that issue... find a new candidate..." It goes in circles. I think I've been to most every candidate's page 40 times in this cycle.

Individual Liberties
This covers a lot, especially now that I'm a parent. I want to be able to choose where and how my children are schooled. I want to be able to choose what gets pumped into my and my children's bodies. I definitely want to choose where I give birth.

This gets complicated. You could go and call on the Constitution Party or Libertarian Party because they're all about personal liberties, but their stance on immigration is intense. I think a lot of people come to America for refuge and they should be free to do so without having to jump through crazy amounts of hoops. We should be encouraging towards immigration and helping others out. So I have to find another party that supports both individual liberties and immigration. (good luck...)

I definitely believe in bodily integrity. People should be well informed before pumping stuff into their bodies or permanently changing them. This is why I'm letting Margaret make her own decision about piercing her ears. Bodily integrity is also why we plan on keeping our sons intact. If they want to be circumcised that can be their choice, but I won't permanently modify their bodies for cosmetic reasons. It's also why we're delaying/not-vaxing. In my book, vaccinations fall in the same realm of permanently altering their bodies- they can choose that for themselves if they want it.

These issues fall, not only under individual liberties, but under health as well- which with various healthcare platforms this year, it makes it an interesting voting year. I am cautious about universal health care plans- even though none of the plans mean "mandatory health care," I worry that a universal health care plan may become a stepping stone towards mandatory health care. Would this affect a woman's choice in birthing settings? Would this affect my children's bodily integrity?

But I do know people are in bankruptcy because of health care costs- and that is wrong. It's probably better to help them out than to hesitate because of "what might happen." I do want to err on the side of charity in social issues. It makes me upset when people are Scrooges with their money and don't want to help out issues like Social Security and Medicaid because people "might" take advantage of it. I'd rather give freely than not. There was this guy once who said some important things on this matter...

Still working on who I support politically, though.


If you watched the debate last night, head on over to FactChecker.org and check out which numbers were real and which were made up.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

October: Attachment Parenting Month

So Attachment Parenting International has declared October "Attachment Parenting Month." While I do post about my crunchy escapades, I don't talk much about attachment parenting.

I didn't know about attachment parenting a year ago, but I was about to learn. I was pregnant and went to my first LLL meeting where I found a lady who invited me to the AP playgroup. I didn't know what AP was, but I figured, "Hey, what the heck. These ladies think homebirth is great, I might as well give some thought to what I do after the birth. I'll see what they're all about."

What AP is to me
Simply put, AP is respecting your child as a person. This means you listen to them and treat them humanely. To me, this means getting rid of the "I'm the adult and you'll do what I say" attitude. You can't demand respect because of your size or age. You can only earn respect. I'm guilty of the "Because I said so and I'm the adult here" mentality. I used to teach in a public school. Public school thrives off of that. "I'm the teacher and that's that." But I've realized that doesn't work. It just makes child resentful and bitter. I know because I've been that child before. It doesn't even have to be an adult/child relationship. Look at any sort of leadership: your boss, your own parents, the President of the USA. Adults don't give respect to leaders just because they're in leadership positions (see public satisfaction polls on the current Commander in Chief for proof). We can't expect children to give us respect just because we're bigger. We have to earn it too. And we earn it by respecting them and their opinions as people. No one likes to be belittled- children included.

So respect your children. I've been reminded to remember that Heavenly Father gives us his children to be our children. We must give them the respect that children of God deserve.

Why Sarah Palin doesn't care about women

Ok. So yesterday I started getting political and I think I'm going to continue for a little while. I know a lot of mommy blogs have written about how great it is that Palin is on the Vice Presidential ticket. I'm going to write about how I feel that's not true.

I find a lot of the Republican policies to be heartless: Sarah Palin's stance on abortion and sexual assault included.

It is well known that Palin is against abortion, except in the instance of when a mother's life is at risk, even in the case of rape. I have a hard time aligning this with my moral values. In the October Ensign, the LDS Church takes the stance that there are times in which abortion may be neccessary: in the case where the mother's life is at risk, rape, incest. I do feel that abortion can be used incorrectly as birth control, but I do feel it has its place and can be needed. It is cruel to deny the victims of rape and incest the option of abortion: "abortion is sometimes considered advisable to preserve the physical and mental health of the mother" (quote from the above link).

However, not only does Palin ignore the exceptions in the abortion issue, she has demonstrated that she has no feelings towards rape victims in general. When she was mayor of Wasilla, she supported the chief of police in charging rape victims for their own rape kits. While at best (and at a stretch) her stance on abortion is zealous, her actions in this matter are heinous.

When a woman goes into a hospital reporting a rape, a rape kit is used to gather evidence for forensics. Her clothing is taken away, photos are taken of any bruising and trauma, swabs are taken for evidence. Needless to say, this is a humiliating and painful experience. Now imagine getting a bill of $1200 to cover that. Lovely, no?

Maybe you feel separated from the idea of rape- that rape is what happens to other people. In Utah, 1 in 3 women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime and 1 in 8 will be raped (pdf taken from here). How many sisters do you have? Cousins? This is no small matter, and re-victimizing the woman and her family is wrong.

Monday, October 06, 2008

(more) politics

Brian had a good blog post here. And he links to various party's pages on issues.

And Utah, don't forget to register to vote. Today's the last day.


Snippet from a conversation between McKay and I yesterday about the election:

McKay, wishing there was a way to figure out if God endorsed a candidate.
Me, agreeing with him, "Yeah. Wouldn't it be great if God just sent someone down here to fix everything and let the government be on His shoulders?"

Oh, good times.

Not Affiliated

Now, I don't usually use my blog to talk politics, but yesterday I ran into a "Vote Republican because the rest of Utah is going to so I might as well" person. It make me very upset. Peer pressure isn't the way to vote. (Oh and btw, would you believe that Utah was once a strongly Blue State- and that was back in the day when there was a higher percentage of LDS people in the state?)

I'm not a registered anything and I won't tell you who I plan on voting for, though I'm very much leaning towards writing someone in. I feel like I the whole point of voting "for" someone is that you are voting for them- not against the other candidate. If I'm going to vote for someone, I'm going to agree with a lot of their stances and not have reservations. I'm going to vote with a clear conscience.

I can't in good conscience vote for McCain/Palin, but I don't agree 100% with Obama/Biden, although he would be a breath of fresh air in the Oval Office.

Everybody: remember we don't have a two-party system. There are many other parties to look at that may line up better with your views than you think. Please vote FOR someone, not against.

OntheIssues.org

Elimination Communication

I've been asked a few times what "EC" is.

ECing is essentially learning your child's potty signals and picking up on them. When you learn their signals, you can get them to a potty. Basically it's taking advantage of your Mom Sense. You know what I'm talking about: those times when you think, "She's probably going to poop soon," and sure enough, she does. Why not take advantage of that? We've been able to go whole days without a poopy diaper due to ECing (for example, yesterday). Less poopy diapers is always a plus.

ECing is NOT potty training. It might lead to earlier potty training, but it might not. There are ECers whose 3 year olds aren't potty trained and there are ECers whose 18 month olds are, just like everybody else.

Some people are really good at this. I know a mama whose 6 month old will give signals and wait to be put over a potty. We're not quite at that point. We're mainly at the "when she wakes up she usually goes potty, so let's put her on the potty" stage. But even that is great. She smiles on the potty and has a great time. At least she'll have a good relationship with the potty.

Sometimes you get them to a potty and they don't do anything. Sometimes you can't get them there in time. All of those things are ok. It's a learning experience for both of you. It'd be great to catch every elimination, but if not, it's not a big deal.

We spend some time every day without a diaper on Margaret. We'll play with her and try to notice if she gives signals before going potty. Signals can be a face, sound, muscle tension. Anything. I know when she was a newborn, she had a little cry meaning, "I'm going to pee soon."

ECing makes a lot of sense. I have one friend whose baby only poops once a week and when he does, it's a huge mess. They can see it coming all day. Why not just put the baby on the potty and prevent the mess?

Now, ECing doesn't always minimize the number of diapers you use. Sometimes she'll start going and then I get her to the potty and she finishes there. Then I need a new diaper. This can use up more diapers, but it's ok. I usually catch most poos, so at least there's less poopy diapers. :)

Notice the gold ring she's holding? I always give her a toy to help her go potty. It relaxes her.

DiaperFreeBaby.org
The EC Store

Friday, October 03, 2008

Life Update

Life's been pretty good lately. I've started eating green smoothies for breakfast. Yesterday I made 4 cups of spinach/strawberry smoothie. I can't eat 4 cups of smoothie, so I saved half for today. I liked today's better. I don't know if it's because my mouth was expecting spinach for breakfast or because I had chilled it in the fridge. I wonder if chilling it hurt its nutritional value...

Also in the life realm, the diaper service dropped off the first diapers yesterday. The service isn't as eco-friendly as I'd hoped: no reusable diaper pail liners nor reusable wipes. I'll have to mention that in the survey, but the diapers are FANTASTIC. Bum Genius One-Size. Margaret's butt is so spoiled. So we get a week of Bum Genius. Fabulous. It actually makes me want to buy some Bum Genius diapers.

Plus on Thursday, we had a great EC day. I didn't catch everything, but I did catch every poop. That's something. Yesterday we just missed one poop. Plus Thursday night, I had nursed Margaret to sleep and then I went over to a friend's to play Twister. I figured McKay could watch her if she woke up, plus it was late so I wasn't sure if she would wake up at all. Well, an hour into the evening, I got a call from McKay.

"Did she wake up?"
"Yeah."
"Does she need me?"
"I caught a pee!"

Woohoo! McKay has caught a pee. He said that she woke up, he was holding her by the computer and she was grunting and stuff, so he figured he'd put her on the potty. And sure enough!

So yeah. ECing is working out pretty well right now. Bum Genius is amazing. And spinach was on sale for 77 cents a bunch, so I'm having green smoothies. Plus General Conference is this weekend. October has been pretty kind if you ask me.

Oh- and lack of pictures of Margaret is due to lack of our laptop. It's in the shop getting a makeover, so I'm using our desktop which means I'm not uploading pictures at the moment.

Friday Fill-ins

1. October is going to be a very productive month for me.
2. Tiny critters that move unnaturally fast (ie spiders and such) scare me!
3. Leaves are falling all around, it's time for a photo shoot in the canyon!
4. My favorite horror movie is non-existent because I've never seen one.
5. Margaret's first Halloween should = good memories.
6. It was a dark and stormy night which became a cool foggy morning.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to making some longies out of sweaters, tomorrow my plans include conference and knitting and Sunday, I want to knit and listen to conference!


And if you're into the conference groove, you can listen to it here in pretty much whatever language floats your boat. Don't forget it's at 10 and 2 Saturday and Sunday MST.