Monday, March 09, 2009

Gentle Discipline

I've spent a lot of my time lately on the Internet looking for information about Gentle Discipline because all the books at the library are checked out and I'm on waiting lists for hold items.

I know a few people who have decided that parenting books aren't needed, but for me, they are. I know that my exposure to parenting is limited and I know that there are things that my parents did with me that I do not want to do with my kids. I also know that if I don't find alternatives, I'll end up reverting to what I was brought up with. I want to know other options. I want to know what else there is. If you don't know your options, you have none.

However, it takes a lot of time to develop a habit. I know that if I read a book just once, it won't stick in my head. I have to return again multiple times or else, once again, I'll revert back to what I grew up with.

So I've found a couple of articles lately I thought I'd share.

Understanding Temper Tantrums This was in the LLL's New Beginnings Magazine Issue 5, 2008 and I really liked it. Usually I throw out (recycle) magazines because I'm against having extra stuff in the house, but I kept this issue because of this article. Of course, now that I found it online, I can de-clutter. :)

Cry for Connection: A Fresh Approach to Tantrums I found a link to this one on a forum last week and enjoyed it, also.

Fair is Fair This one talks about forced sharing. I struggle with the idea of forcing behaviors in our children even if it seems like a good idea like the command, "Say 'I'm sorry'!" I'm still looking for more information on this. I just doesn't seem right to me to force good behavior, but I also know it's good to demonstrate kind behavior. I'm still looking for ideas on this.

One thing I do actively try to do is ask myself, "If Christ were Margaret's mom, how would He handle the situation?"


  1. In my student ward at BYU our bishops wife presented an enrichment about the purpose of hands. She said that when one of her children hits another child, instead of hitting them back or making her child apologize she kisses their hands and shows and tells them that hands are for loving, not for hurting and then asks the child if they would like to apologize. I just loved this example of gentle parenting!

  2. Thank you for this. I've really been struggling lately with finding something that works for my two girls.

  3. Dr. Becky Bailey's Conscious Discipline rocks...

  4. I'm amused to see that I've already commented on this site. But actually, this is a different Carolyn.

    I really appreciated the articles you linked to. I, too, enjoy and appreciate parenting books. Taking the time out to explore my options and to remember the "why" (not just look for the "how") are a few of the benefits I get from reading parenting books.

    In the end, I try to make my own decisions and allow my knowledge of my child and my priorities to guide my choices.

    I think that discipline, in its many forms, is needed eventually. But parents can go a long way to prevent the need for correction by modeling good behavior and giving sufficient love and attention to their child.

    While I am not always sure what response to Soren's temper tantrums is most appropriate, I do know what responses are vital when he is kind, obedient, calm, clever, attentive, or neat. I'm trying to focus on that side of "discipline" right now.

  5. I need to read that "Fair is Fair" article. I'm bad about that.

  6. I just found this site yesterday and when I read your post I immediately thought of it. I don't know if it will be of any use to you, but I've been quite impressed by some of the parenting ideas...


    Fascinating read.


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