Some time ago, I saw on a news site that someone had written into an advice column with the question "My brother and sister-in-law are planning on having their baby without a doctor or midwife! What do I do?" I don't remember the official advice given, but I do remember thinking up how I'd respond.
TopHat's "A UC! What do I do?" advice:
Check to see if you are the pregnant mother. Your uterus will have a baby in it. If you lack this, then butt out. It's not your decision.Of course that's not entirely the nicest way to say it, so I made up this flow chart (click to see bigger):
Actually the advice I gave to family members and partners is really the advice for everyone. It's ok to ask questions about the birth plans (but please don't do it in an accusatory voice). The mom might want to share why she wants this and why it's important to her. I also stand by my "if you don't like the decision, it might be best not to say anything" suggestion. I remember getting "support" from friends and family who weren't comfortable with our UC. While what they were saying sounded "supportive" it was really obvious that they were scared for us and those negative vibes were not helpful. It might be best to not say anything so that negative vibes are not transmitted. But like I said, asking questions is ok. Choosing UC can be lonely and it's nice to talk about it and many moms are open to questions about it.