Edited: In the "And now breastfeeding" paragraph, I wrote, "It is also my understanding that the Church Handbook clarifies that the primary purpose of breast is to nourish and nurture children. If I am wrong about that, someone who has access to the Handbook, please let me know." I have been corrected: it isn't the Handbook, it's from A Parent's Guide, Chapter 5. Sorry about that. -TopHat
This post has been a long time in coming- I really meant to post it months ago. Last week a reporter asked me about the Facebook nurse-in, "How do you, as a BYU grad, get involved with this?" I answered his questioned with a simple, "A good education teaches you to think for yourself and compels you to action, just as the BYU motto states, 'Enter to learn, Go forth to serve.'" I skirted around the question he intended to ask, but I'm going to be more direct here. What did I think he wanted to ask? "How do you, as a member of the LDS Church, get involved with this- especially with the emphasis on modesty in the Church?" I'm going to answer this, but I want to emphasize that this is how I understand the principle of modesty and I don't speak for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
The Reason behind Modesty
I'll first tackle this- I do know that as people with finite minds, we don't know nor can we understand all of God's intentions behind everything, but this is what I understand from my study of this topic. Almost every talk about modesty emphasizes that we are in the image of God. We are then taught to be modest out of respect for God's image. We shouldn't misuse the image of God for the purpose of satisfying the natural man. "The natural man is an enemy to God." When we dress with the intention to be "sexy" or bring to attention to our bodies, we are succumbing to our natural man and we are misusing God's image. I think this is where the line is drawn between art and pornography: art is respectful of God's image, pornography isn't.
And now breastfeeding
Now we get to how breastfeeding is involved. This made me think, "Is breastfeeding misusing the image of God?" Well, that's an obvious "No." In the Latter-day Saint Woman, Part A, it states, "Our Heavenly Father made the mother’s body so it could produce milk." In A Parent's Guide, it also states, "the female breasts....were intended to nourish and comfort children." The breast is intended to breastfeed, so when I breastfeed, I am not misusing my body or God's image, so I don't feel that I am immodest in this.
"But men are more visual...we should help them"
I understand where this is coming from- we are trying to become a Zion people and a Zion society is a society that helps each other. However, I feel that this argument hurts more than it helps.
First, it hurts men. It implies that men have no self-control or agency in the matter. Preserving agency is one of the primary reasons of being here on Earth and removing men from their agency is harmful and against the plan. I want no part of it, so I will not encourage that argument. Also, this argument can be used as an excuse to not tackle an issue. This is one example of, "I'm like this ____ and I can't change that." This isn't limited to men and being visual, of course, this can be extended to any person and any addiction/struggle they might have. The ultimate harm of this argument is the "I can't change that" clause. This is a direct attack on Christ's atonement- implying that it isn't as encompassing and total and infinite as it is. "I can't change that. Nothing can help me- not even Christ."
Secondly, this argument hurts women. The "women should be responsible for men's thoughts" line is a thin and dangerous line. At what point would that stop? When a woman wears a mini skirt and is raped? I fully believe that men and women are responsible for themselves. When we tell young girls that they need to be modest for men, we are encouraging a very detrimental thought process and setting them up for abusive relationships. "He thinks/does ____ because I _____" is what is going to keep women in relationships that they need to get out of. It's what makes someone think they can change their spouse/friend/family member, "If only I ____, s/he wouldn't ____."
The biggest issue here
I really feel the issue is cultural. Our American culture breeds the idea that women's breast's are for sex and arousal: that breasts = sex = private. But breasts don't equal sex any more than mouths do- and I breathe and eat and speak without hiding my mouth. The idea that breasts are for sex and sex only is not a world-wide phenomenon. Some argue that since women have breasts and men don't (for the most part) that it was meant to be a sexual organ. You could say the same for a man's facial hair. But perhaps, the reason women, and not men, have breasts is that women bear children and are mothers and men aren't. I feel that Satan's attempt to sexualize breasts is part of his attempt to devalue motherhood, and ultimately the family. By tackling this issue, I'm hoping to restore some of the sacredness of motherhood and family and to set straight some of what Satan has twisted.
A World-wide Church
One friend of mine pointed out to me that if the Church is the same world wide (and it is), then the issue with breastfeeding should be the same worldwide. If a mother can breastfeed in church in Brazil uncovered (and they do), then I should be able to do the same here- covering while breastfeeding isn't the gospel. It's like the "The Church isn't the people, it's the gospel" argument. I do think it is nice that many buildings have a mother's lounge for women who need more seclusion- I used it when Margaret was going through a time where she would only nurse lying down- and it's kind of hard to lie down in Relief Society! However, I don't want the thought process to become, "There is a mother's lounge for women to breastfeed, so all breastfeeding must belong there whether or not a woman wants to be there." The Church is a family church and segregating mothers from the rest of the congregation is damaging and discrimination.
Other's comfort
One argument for "covering up" while breastfeeding is that other people are "uncomfortable." I do understand consideration for others, but personally, I'm going to feed and comfort my child before I worry about another person's comfort. My child is a person too, and I'm going to respect her comfort also. I read one argument about this last week that there are still some people (sadly) uncomfortable with the sight/thought of interracial marriages and couples, but that doesn't mean those marriages and couples should hide; the same goes for breastfeeding. People are going to be uncomfortable with just about anything... from the color yellow to elephants. In the meantime, I'm going to concern myself first with the needs and concerns of the children that God has entrusted me. They are my first priority.
Conclusion
I do, as a Latter-day Saint, value modesty and the respect of God's image. However, I don't feel that breastfeeding disrespects God, so I don't feel it is a "modesty" issue. I want my children to be modest, not because of what other people might think, but because of their own testimonies about the sacredness and the nature of God.