Monday, January 04, 2010

Inquisition Monday: Nursery

Sorry about this being 2 weeks after the fact. Holidays happened. Inquisition Monday will return from here on out.

K La asked, Do you go with Margaret to nursery? If not, how does Margaret go diaper-free during nursery? Or anytime you are not there? Do you explain to the leader/sitter her signals and hope they watch for them?

Margaret is surprisingly close to graduating into potty independence. Over the holidays, McKay and I went gift shopping with her and then we went out to lunch. We weren't sure how long the trip would be, so we put a diaper on her... that she never used. On our trip, she only used her diaper two nights. All the other nights she stayed dry until the morning. Last week, she and I went to playgroup and then to the store with no misses at all. It was probably a 3.5 hour outing, but what makes it amazing was that she fell asleep on the way home and I transferred her to the bed and she took a 3 hour naps and still stayed dry through the whole thing on top of the errands!

So what I'm saying is that I'd be 100% fine with her using panties at church. McKay, however, isn't as confident about it. I think if we made sure she used the potty right after sacrament and then maybe halfway through nursery, she'd be fine. Usually either McKay or I will go in and peek at her after Sunday School just to check in on her. If we took 2 minutes and turned that into a small potty break, she'd be able to be dry all through church, no problem.

I don't think I could depend on the nursery leaders. They aren't allowed to take a child to the bathroom- and by the time they hear "potty!" and then come find me and then we get to the bathroom... well, it's a little late. I know some nurseries have child-sized bathrooms attached to them, but ours doesn't. Our child-sized bathroom is next to the mother's lounge- and has a stall. Margaret hates stalls. She gets very panicky and claustrophobic in bathroom stalls.

I remember taking Margaret with me to the bathroom at the airport a week ago. She was in a diaper because I knew a 3 hour plane trip would be too much to expect out of her, but we went to the restroom because I needed to go and McKay was getting the car seat and had all the luggage, so watching Margaret wasn't very feasible for him. Even though we weren't going into the stall for her, as soon as we were in there and I shut the door, she started crying and knocking on the door trying to get out. The small spaces are just so scary for her- I don't know why. This will probably be the biggest obstacle for her.

Luckily, right outside the nursery at church is the large bathroom for people with disabilities. Because of its larger size, Margaret isn't as nervous there. We also need to make sure we bring her potty seat reducer or teach her how to hold herself up. Unfortunately, she's usually in such a panic over using a public restroom that trying to show her how to brace herself up isn't very productive, so the seat reducer is probably our best option. I was able to use it successfully at the library. Unfortunately, it's kind of bulky to carry around. I've considered looking into the fold-up travel kind, but they don't look very sturdy and the reviews seem to reflect that.

I'm not sure when Margaret will get past the fear of public restrooms. It might take a year, it might take two, it might take even more. We'll just wait it out for now. I suppose she won't be 100% potty independent until that day, but that's ok. Sometimes it just takes longer.


  1. How interesting that you posted this today, because I was just thinking about this very topic today! Today was Michael's first day of nursery. I work in the nursery, for which I am grateful, but I was wondering what I would do about pottying him if I wasn't in there. The answer was simple: take him before, take him in the middle, and take him afterwards. He wears a diaper at church, so no need to worry about misses.

  2. I want to ask you somethings for Inquisition Monday. (But, I'm confused why this is posted, because it is Sunday still! :D) Anyway, I'm assuming you still co-sleep with Margaret and nurse at night. How are you planning on handling it when the new baby comes? I have no idea what to do in my own family. My son is still nursing frequently at night and sleeps with us, but that will have to change when I have a newborn nursling in the bed!

  3. I'm not completely over my own fear of public bathrooms. ;)

    Zeb hated the super loud flush for awhile but was actually more nervous in our home bathroom from the time he was about 5 until 8 or so. Then one day he just wasn't.

    [This comment brought to you by No Point At All.]

  4. We tried the fold up seat inserts and it wasn't sturdy at all, complete waste of money :(

  5. DD1 was afraid of public restrooms... not afraid so much as OCD and they had to be perfectly clean for her to use them... even at friends' or family's homes, she wouldn't go if she thought it was yucky. This was quite a challenge because he was diaper free at 2 and sometimes had to "hold it" all day... She is four now, and only a little wierd about other restrooms.

  6. I was finally able to think of a question for you :) How do you store your diaper stash? With limited space, I'm looking for effective ways to store mine!

  7. Mallory,
    I'm not sure you'll see this here, but if you do, this is what I did. We had four in the bed - my husband, the newborn, me, and the toddler. The bed was tight against the wall so the toddler didn't fall out. I just rolled over from left to right depending on who needed to nurse the most at that moment. That got old really fast though, and I eventually nightweaned the toddler.

    I feel that if they are over 2 years old, it's just fine to night wean abruptly. They are usually pretty angry about it, but I don't think they are truly traumatized. Of course you know your child best and will be able to tell. And of course I still allowed nursing at all other times of the day.

    I currently have a 2.5 year old, and for the last few months, he has been totally fine about night weaning. Before bed time, I tell him that after he falls asleep, he will not be having any snackies until morning. He says "OK mom". Then he'll wake up in the night and scream and cry for snackies and I say no and ask him if he wants water, and he drinks some and yells at me a bit and then quiets down and goes back to sleep immediately. After a couple of days of this, he generally sleeps through the night or wakes once or twice for a quick drink of water (as many adults do). It certainly was not this easy with my older two boys, but sometimes you get lucky I guess.

    Another way I've nursed two at night is by laying on my back with one arm around each kid. But that doesn't work so well with a brand newborn baby.


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