Tuesday, February 09, 2010

February Carnival of Natural Parenting

Welcome to the February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Love and partners!

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month we're writing about how a co-parent has or has not supported us in our dedication to natural parenting. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.


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You know what's hard? Latching on a baby. A hungry baby. In tears. In the late evening or at 2 in the morning. The kind of baby who'll spit out any latch that's not P-E-R-F-E-C-T, with the T crossed just so.

I sat there with the boppy and I was reading from the book following every step. And yet 45 minutes later, she wouldn't latch.

Enter McKay.

McKay picks up the baby, re-situates the boppy, gives the baby back to me, and picks up the book and starts reading to me those same instructions I had been reading for the past 45 minutes.

And behold, she latches. It was like magic. Every time. It's just not fair.


But that was almost two years ago now. Margaret doesn't have a problem latching anymore. The problem is getting her off. Sometimes when the evening comes around, I'm a little touched out. My nipples can be quite sore by the evening depending on how she was feeling during her nap and how sensitive my nipples fee like being that day. Thankfully, McKay is understanding about the pregnancy and will often honor my request for a little break and hold her when she wants to nurse. Of course, sometimes nursing still wins, but he tries. One of the most wonderful pregnancy blessings I have is that he'll hold Margaret when she refuses to come to bed with us so I can get some sleep.


McKay has been my number 1 support from the very beginning. He was on board with a homebirth right away, once I reminded him that he, himself, was born at home. Unassisted childbirth took a little, but he was on board with it by the third trimester with Margaret. He was definitely on board with breastfeeding and cosleeping (having parents who did those things helped). And he was even 100% in favor of elimination communication before he was "ok" with cloth diapering.

Photo credit goes to ji design
http://babyjidesign.com


And he's on board with my lactivism. He's ok with me nursing in public and has been my rock during those times when I can't handle the criticism from emails and comments and FB messages- and even those few personal confrontations. His calmness and goodness brings me back from my tears and despair. He feels as strongly as I that breastfeeding shouldn't be hidden and he keeps supporting me no matter what the critics say. I love that man.



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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!



Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:



(This list will be updated Feb. 9 with all the carnival links, and all links should be active by noon EST. Go to Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama for the most recently updated list.)



18 comments:

  1. How cool that he had experiences with parts of natural parenting from his own family! I'm sure that helps with the comfort factor.

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  2. This sounds so much like my husband. I had one especially teary night after my milk came in when I could not get her to latch. My husband remained calm, guided her head and sweet relief! She latched!

    And he's been an avid supporter of everything from NIP, cloth diapers, babywearing, co-sleeping and homebirth. I could not ask for a better partner.

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  3. In my opinion, husbands (or partners) can be so vital to the breastfeeding relationship. I wish more men were as supportive.

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  4. I remember the days of latch problems. My husband always felt kind of helpless, but he didn't realize that his support was what got me through!

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  5. I love that photo of you all in front of the Facebook offices. So, so awesome.

    Wouldn't it be great if every woman had partners that were so supportive? I think it really would. :)

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  6. This is a great tribute to just how much our partners do to facilitate and augment our bonding with our babies. I would say even with breastfeeding but what I really mean is especially with breastfeeding. Mothers absolutely need someone to be there for them to smooth out the rough times, and there definitely can be some, with extra love, patience and commitment. It sounds like you have had and will always have an enormous well of devotion and knowledge in your husband.

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  7. Love that he was able to get the baby to latch! Sounds like you have a keeper ;)

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  8. I love that photo of you guys in front of FB headquarters too. I had forgotten you did that. So cool.

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  9. I love that picture of you in front of FB! Awesome. How cool that your hubby was parented with natural parenting techniques. This was way "out there" for my parents and DH's but they are being supportive. I can't stress enough the importance of a partner in bfing. Sounds like you got a good one!

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  10. That is awesome that your husband is so hands on with breastfeeding. I remember those days of early latching frustration and frantically trying to make sense of all the advice and instructions I was reading.

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  11. I didn't realize McKay wasn't always on board about your decision for an unassisted birth. I'd love to read your experiences convincing him, if that's in your archives somewhere. I've thought about it for myself, but I know deciding on even a home birth was a little bit of a leap for Sam.

    I love that McKay's a lactivist as well! Great picture.

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  12. Isn't it wonderful having a husband who's also your number one advocate?

    Quite awhile ago I wrote an article about nursing at Mass, and I received an onslaught of hate email and nasty comments. My skin is pretty thick, especially when it comes to parenting my children the way I see fit, but I started feel wounded. Then I started defending my position when my husband gently told me to just get back to enjoying my kids and that I was never going to convince some of those ignorant, hateful people. He's helped me to see that pleasing God and my family is all I have to worry about.

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  13. Your husband sounds similar to mine with all of the natural parenting stuff. There are things he loves and things he deals with, but he never is entirely against anything. It's nice to know that even if he doesn't 100% agree with it, he'll still support it for me.

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  14. I LOVE that facebook photo! How cool that your husband is such a helper with latching!

    <3

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  15. That is FANTASTIC that he is so supportive!

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  16. You have a good man there. I think it's awesome you had a unassisted birth.

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  17. I so understand how difficult breastfeeding can be in the beginning and how vital it is to have that support. I love that facebook photo.

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  18. Supportive husbands really are essential, especially with things like breastfeeding. Imagine if he was the type to complain and just push you to use formula... wouldn't that stink?! You are truly blessed, as am I. I love good men!

    By the way, my name is Sarah, and I also participate in the carnival. It's nice to "meet" you! :)

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