In less than 2 months, McKay will be working at Pixar. In the summer, we'll have a baby. Meanwhile, Margaret will turn 2 and continue to learn how to be a person. The next 6 months or more will be filled with a lot of transition for Margaret and we've been giving a lot of thought on how to make this easier for her.
First, what we are NOT doing:
- We are not going to change our sleeping arrangement. Margaret will eventually get out of our bed, but I'm not going to push it at the moment. My mom said whenever they moved when I was small, I would get night terrors- probably from the new environment and changes in my life. In order to minimize extra stress, we'll keep her in our bed until she's ready to get out. At least 8 hours of the day will be spent in the same environment she's used to: between mom and dad.
- We are not going to wean her. I thought she might wean on her own in the pregnancy; she was never into comfort nursing as a baby. But despite my drop in supply, she still nurses often. With a move and a new baby, we're not going to cut down on our snuggle time.
- We aren't going to push potty learning. To be honest, she's pretty much there. We've had only a handful of accidents, and she's gone all through church without using her diaper for a couple of weeks now. We're down to using maybe 1 diaper a week. But we also know that with change, kids can regress, and if she does that during the move or when the baby comes, we'll be patient with it.
- We will probably have Margaret at the birth. I think it will be better for her to know where the baby came from than to go away with a sitter and then come back after the baby "magically" appears. Yesterday, I was showing her birth videos on youtube and she was getting all excited and clapping when the babies were born- and she also expressed concern for the crying babies. "Sad," she said, while indicating tears going down her cheeks. She got happier after the babies latched on and nursed. "Ummy!"
- We're considering getting a postpartum doula to help with the baby transition. It would be nice to have someone who can do a few light chores so I don't feel like I have to decide between clean dishes and a happy toddler. A couple of the doulas out in the Bay Area also advertise experience with Waldorf/Montessori with toddlers. Someone who could help with Margaret along with cooking meals or tidying the house sounds like a plus to me! Of course, we'll have to budget for that: doulas are around $25-30/hour out there.
- I will try to remember that Margaret needs mom time and give that to her.
- I will give myself a good 6 weeks before making myself show up at places and look like a normal person again. We are looking at apartments that are close to parks so we'll be able to get out of the house without actually having to look "put together". Plus Margaret can get some vitamin D and outdoor time. In fact, the baby and I will probably need the sunlight too. We'll probably also start going to LLL meetings out there. But going anywhere that requires a car ride and a bra? Nope. I don't think so.
- I think I'll knit her some socks. When I was making booties, she wanted some of her own. Yes, hand knit socks will come in handy.