Monday, July 12, 2010

Inquisition Monday

A couple of weeks ago, Abigail asked about breastmilk soap, "I am SO curious as to how she made breastmilk soap. I've read something of making breastmilk ice cream, but soap is a new idea for me."

My friend who made the soap says she used this Mother's Milk Soap recipe. It does use a lot of breastmilk, and I know people don't normally have a lot on hand, and if they do, they are saving it for future use. The reason my friend had a lot was because they discovered that her little girl was sensitive to dairy in her mom's milk and so all of her pumped milk was now useless for their daughter. So they made soap.

Last week, Mallory asked, "What do you normally tell people when they ask what your due date is? I know it isn't inquisition Monday, but the size of your belly got me wondering how you handle it when people ask that ever-popular question. Do people take the answer of "between the summer solstice and the fall equinox"??? Are they really ok with that and leave it alone? (I know they don't really have to be "ok" with it, they have to deal with whatever answer you give them...but do they seem pleased with that answer?) Because when I tell people I am due in late August or early September, I feel a lot of pressure to just spit out a date! Almost that I have to justify, that yes, I do in fact know when I got pregnant, when I'm due, I'm not just guessing, my midwife has even relied on -me- to tell her when I'm due...etc, etc."

When I'm asked my due date, I always says, "Oh- sometime this summer." Sometimes they like that, sometimes they don't. Reactions have varied from, "It sure looks like that!" to "You don't know?" I did once get the reaction, "So sometime before the equinox?" And I was like "YES! You get it!"

The "You don't know?" reactions are the most annoying. Because I chart for fertility, I know the exact date of ovulation- I'm not oblivious to my "due date" at all! It's kind of insulting. To that I respond, "I know my due date, but I'm not sharing it with anyone." And sometimes I feel like I have to justify that with "My daughter was 3 weeks late, so we're trying not to focus on a particular date."

Last month someone tried to guess:
"Could be"
"It's possible."
"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

I'm starting to get tired of it, though. I've considered messing with the asker's head if they are just a random person at a store that I'll never see again:
"When are you due?"
"This Monday?"
"No, two Monday's ago."

Or some other variation: "It was Father's Day." "Memorial Day."

I've also been asked if I'm having twins. I could probably do a "Nope. Quadruplets!"

I have considered playing dumb and just say I don't know and act like I have no clue how pregnancy works at all. "Um... There's a way to tell?"

Then there's the TMI approach, "Well, we had sex twice on that day. Or it could have been that one day when we rented that cheap motel room with the hot tub..."

And then there's the take offense approach:
"When are you due?"
"Are you asking me to disclose personal medical information to a stranger?"

Hehehe. I should totally try some of these. I've been way too nice about it.


  1. I plan to follow your example and not share my due date, even though my pregnancy will result from IVF next month, so we'll have exact dates too! I really like your idea of taking the pressure off a 'due date.' Thank you so much for your example. I love reading about your natural parenting.

  2. LOL...I like some of your ideas. I'm too nice about it, too. I've also been trying to eliminate sarcasm from my conversations, so I probably shouldn't try some of those responses.

    I also chart for fertility, and therefore, know the exact date of ovulation. When I called my family to announce my pregnancy, my dad (who is a RN) was asking me what the date of my LMP was, so he could look up my due date. I told him that wouldn't give him the right date, because I had a long cycle. I had to convince him that I knew exactly how far along I was!

    Luckily, I haven't gotten the "You don't know?" reaction yet. Just a lot of awkward head nodding and unconvinced looks as I stumbled around trying to avoid saying an exact date. Oh well...the baby is coming SOME time this year! :D

  3. The amount of vegetable shortening makes me cringe, but I suppose it is a natural product isn't it?

    LOL, I"m all for the offensive response or the messing with their head. With my last baby, the doctor changed my due date ahead 2 weeks, even though I thought that was silly because I knew when she was concieved. . .anyway, so we just told that date to people whenever they asked. . .and she ended up sticking with the due date I had calculated originally, and it the comments I got when my due date came and when, while they were well meaning, I ended up bursting into tears one Sunday during Relief Society. . .

  4. I LOVE the " uh, people can know when they're due???"

  5. I'm all for "You'd have to ask the baby."
    Or "Whenever the baby decides on a birthday."

  6. funny! it is so tempting to ask people what their due date is, but I am with you and would usually give a "mid April" kind of answer.
    Love the breastmilk soap idea!

  7. Hip Mountain Mama- it's not really the asking that bothers me, but the reactions to my response. The assumption is always that I have my dates wrong which is really really frustrating. I don't normally mind the asking.


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