Saturday, July 31, 2010

Letters to Myself

I have new mama brain and I forgot to tell you all that I had a guest post published yesterday at called Do It All Over Again which is a letter to myself 2 years ago when I first started learning to be comfortable while nursing in public. Check it out!

In a similar vein, I've been toying with writing a letter to my 3 days postpartum self. It would be short, though. Something like this:

Dear 3 days Postpartum Self:

I know it doesn't seem like it'll end. But it will. I promise.

-2 Weeks Postpartum Self

So being 2 weeks postpartum, I may or might not be over the postpartum hump. I did have the usual random crying at 3-5 days postpartum related to coming down from the birth high. To me, it wasn't random: it was all related to my postpartum fears of never healing. Parts of me were hurting and they were parts of me that had never hurt before. I didn't have any personal experience to assure me that they would ever get better, so I cried and wondered if I would ever feel normal again. Poor McKay had to comfort me through that time.

When I was less than 1 day postpartum, I had asked McKay for a healing blessing and I was told that I would be able to overcome the sensations I would feel in healing. I was surprised at the wording at the time, because I was expecting him to say "after pains" instead of "sensations" but at 3 days postpartum, I knew why he said "sensations." It was more than just the 4-5 days of after pains that I had to overcome and the broader term "sensations" fit the bill.

Now, at 2 weeks postpartum, those feelings are pretty much gone. I haven't cried randomly in over a week, but I have had McKay here. I'm a little worried about how next week will go once he returns to work on Monday. I'm not sure how I'm going to get Margaret to nap without someone holding Isaac. And I'm not sure if I'm going to be doing much besides watching movies. We'll see how it goes.

But I'm sure it'll get better. At the very least, both Isaac and Margaret will get older and the current challenges will end simply because of their ages.

As a special treat for you readers, if you go to the post, you'll get to see a picture of me that was taken 4 days postpartum and I have dark circles under my eyes and everything!


  1. I'm sorry you've had to struggle with postpartum depression but glad you've made it through! It's great that your husband has been able to be there to support you--I can't imagine going through the postpartum period again without mine.

  2. I don't think it's postpartum depression, at least not yet. It's just baby blues. I don't want to compare my fairly mild short-lived crying episodes to actual postpartum depression. I suppose it could turn into that in the next few weeks, but I'm hoping it doesn't. But it has been nice to have McKay here. I think about how it was in the first 2 weeks with Margaret, and I'm pretty sure there was more crying because he was back to school and work at 4 days postpartum.


Please review my blog comment policy here before commenting. You may not use the name "Anonymous." You must use a Google Account, OpenID, or type in a name in the OpenID option. You can make one up if you need to. Even if your comment is productive and adding to the conversation, I will not publish it if it is anonymous.