Monday, September 20, 2010

A Tale of Two Births

Margaret's birth was awesome. It was amazing. I was in labor longer than I probably would have been "allowed," and had a baby later than I would have been "allowed," and even had her in the caul, which would have probably not been "allowed." Her birth was about breaking the rules and coming out on top.

So in the months after her birth, I was on this high. I had just had a baby by myself! And I rocked it. And the fact that she was my first made it even more subversive. People "supported" my birth plans: "but for your first baby..."

I had climbed a mountain that not many people get to climb. Her birth represented a huge paradigm shift for me. I challenged the authority I had been giving power and a world of new possibilities opened up. I am woman, hear me roar.

Isaac's birth was different. There wasn't a paradigm shift because it had already shifted two years ago. I went into his birth thinking I had a lot more time (because I was only 9 days past my due date). Less anticipation. Less expectation. I woke up in the middle of the night and had a baby the next morning and then went on with my life as "normally" as it can continue after having a baby.

After Margaret's birth, I heard women talk about their UCs as something that was just a part of their day. I remember thinking, "How is that even possible? You just stuck it to 'The Man!' How is that just another day in your life?" But Isaac's was kind of like that. I am living a new "normal."

Every birth is different and I'm going to take something different away from each one, even if on the outside they sound the same. That's what so interesting about life.

Gratuitous 2 months and 15 pounds of baby in a sweater I knit picture:

6 comments:

  1. Great reflection.

    I have been wanting to ask this for a little while. I love the idea of a "babymoon," waiting after the birth for some time to both go out into the world and also to welcome visitors. I think the people who would have the hardest time understanding this are my parents and in-laws. I have never seen you reference a post-birth visit by grandparents, and I wondered if you would tell us how that goes? Are they still around? Do you talk to them, do they understand, do they fight you on visiting and what they "deserve as grandparents?" Obviously I am projecting some of my own worries, but I hope you understand and would be willing to post or email.

    Thank you.

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  2. I don't think I ever really experienced a paradigm shift. Bug's birth was not what I wanted, and Gizmo's birth was SO normal. Yep, I had a baby on my bed...what else is expected? It was awesome...but I thought it would be more enlightening. I need to write my own evaluation post on it.

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  3. ps- LOVE that sweater!!! I wish I was good enough at knitting to make something other than a scarf!! lol

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  4. Huh. You make a good point. After my baby's birth, I felt the same way; I was amazing! I could do anything!! I had my first at home, my way. If I could do that, I could do that, what else can I do?
    But I can see how if I did it again, I wouldn't have that same high, because I already know I can do anything. Huh. Good to know.

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  5. Great point on birth. I love that sweater and such an adorable model!!

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  6. I experienced the same thing with my second birth. It was just so normal, I felt it was almost boring. Her birth was so smooth, so predictable, so easy that it didn't make for interesting reading that's for sure! And the cool thing is that was the way it was supposed to be. I loved how easy and straightforward, uncomplicated and undramatic it was.

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