Inquisition Monday

Natalie asked, "How has babywearing worked since you have been pregnant? As the mother of 1 (so far) I just wondered if you have managed to wear Margaret at all.

I do wear Margaret. It works like this:


It's mostly for grocery trips and library trips and things like the DMV line. Margaret doesn't like to sit in the seat on the grocery cart and I don't really have the means to chase her down the aisles at the moment, so when we get out of the car, I ask her, "Mei Tai?" And she gladly hops in. Sometimes I can get through a whole trip with her on my back; sometimes it's only half a trip, but it is helpful.

Library trips involve a decent walk downhill to the library and a grueling walk uphill on the way home that is too much for a 2 year old and too much for me to carry her in my arms. I could use a stroller, but our library branch is really small and if you bring a stroller, you have to park it outside, which I don't really like, so I don't. So I bring the mei tai and that helps a lot.

And I think the DMV is self-explanatory.


I only use the Mei Tai right now. It's light and has a limited amount of fabric. I think using a wrap would work, but the wrap I have that is strong enough for her is pretty heavy fabric-wise. I'll put the newborn in a wrap when it comes, but I have a lightweight one for the summer for that purpose. It is too lightweight to hold a toddler.

Also, I haven't been using slings because I like that the mei tai goes over both shoulders, and the model I have has wrap-like straps so it doesn't dig into my shoulders or neck under her weight (about 26 pounds now).


I do get lots of "looks" and a few curious questions for strangers when I wear her on my back. It's immensely helpful, though. I'm not sure if I'll be able to wear Margaret and the baby at the same time when it shows up, but I'm sure I'll figure something out.

Saturday

I had a wonderful day yesterday. It was abnormally self-indulgent for me and it felt nice.

I went to my last knitting class in the morning. I'm making this skirt. Because of the current size of my waist, I won't be able to finish for a little while, but I met some cool people in the class and I enjoyed it a lot.

I spent the afternoon with McKay and Margaret. Then in the evening, I went to the fMh Snacker. McKay watched Margaret for the evening so it was just me. I met cool people there: Petra, Keri Brooks, Reese Dixon, Mike H., LRC, Kelly Ann, Lynette, Valorie, and Seraphine from the Bloggernacle (if I get blogs for those people, I'll link to them). I was also surprised to find Jenne there! I met Jenne on an online forum and discovered that she has also UCed. As our circumstances would have it, she let us stay at her family's house in San Francisco as we looked for an apartment out here! She's really nice.

And last, but not least, it was at Carol Lynn Pearson's home and I got to bring home a few copies of her play Mother Wove the Morning. It was really nice to meet all those people and talk with them. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to get tense and lose track of what I'm saying when I'm conversing in a group and suddenly realize that everyone is actually paying attention to what I'm saying, so I'm not sure what sort of impression I gave, but it was very fun. I came home feeling very refreshed and relaxed and that my cup was full, even though I didn't know most of the people there. It's so nice to find a group like that!

5 Babies!

I have a few posts in my "to publish" queue, but I haven't really been able to write a good post (pregnancy brain?), so they haven't been published. I'm also waiting for McKay to hold the camera so I can do a "this is how I know the baby's position" post. As of two days ago, it was LOA. Last night I thought it might be ROA, but this morning feels like LOA again.

The weather here has been nice. Today's high is 73! I love these cool summers! I've also been knitting. I'm almost done with a skirt that I hope will fit me postpartum. It's my first adult-sized knitted garment that's not a hat or sock. Getting the sizing correct is something that worries me. Knitting takes time and I don't want to knit up this skirt to find out I got the size wrong.

Last night, both McKay and I had birth dreams! I had 2 birth dreams and he had one. He dreamed I had twin girls. My first dream was twins: a girl then a boy, and my second dream was a singleton girl. The second one was very vivid for me. The birth was calm and steady. I had no tearing except for a little scratch on the side, which we took care of with some herbal tissue repair cream. The baby was healthy and nursed well.

Actually, most of the dream was about "forgetting" the baby in places. At one point, we went to the library for story time and when we got there, I realized that we forgot the baby at home and made McKay go get her. Things like that. Maybe my "mom of more than one child" fears are creeping in.

McKay didn't give me any details about his twin dream, just that they were girls and it was a very fast birth: babies popping out quickly. Maybe his birth fear is that he won't get to the birth on time?

So last night, I had 5 babies, 4 of which were girls. Hmm. We'll see how that goes. I do have some intuition on the matter, but I'm not sharing it.

Happy weekend everybody!

PS. Don't forget to see Toy Story 3. It's awesome and also means job security for us. :)

Bare

Just when you thought I couldn't get crunchier: it's been over a week since I've worn a bra.

Yeah? It's kind of weird for me, too.

It started when I noticed that I had some back pain at my spine right where my bra band sits. Frankly, my bras aren't fitting well at the moment. I think that the combination of baby pushing all my organs up into my ribs plus the relaxin causing my joints to loosen up turned into "now your ribs are spreading out extra to give extra room." And so my band size changed.

But it's kind of pointless to buy a good fitting bra at this point when I'll be transitioning over into my so-engorged-I-can't-guess-what-my-cup-size-will-be-in-an-hour life this summer. So I've gone braless. And you know what? My back feels much better.

On one level, it's really odd because I've been wearing bras for over a decade now. And it wouldn't be bad if I had nice perky pregnant breasts, but for some reason, my cup size hasn't changed a whole lot this pregnancy. Might be the breastfeeding.

I'm not sure when/if I'll switch back to bras. With Margaret I didn't wear a "real" bra with a band size and cups until 11 months postpartum. It wasn't until then that I thought I'd be able to measure a good size. I just wore those sleeping bras, which don't actually give a lot of support.

And then there's the "Do bras really help anyway?" aspect. I'm not sure. Sometimes your body just changes- pregnancy permanently changes the way your breasts are shaped and you can't do much about that. Fight nature or just accept it? We'll see how my back feels in a year.

I've also been going "bare" in another way, too. Shoes. This one isn't related to the pregnancy. I just have wide feet and I always have. I wear a 6 wide. If they made double wide for women, I'd be wearing that. My feet, despite being 3 inches shorter than McKay's, are just as wide as his.

Here's a picture:

No, my feet aren't swollen here: they are just wide. I haven't had any foot swelling in about a week. Notice how my pinky toes are slightly redder than the others and misshapen because of callouses? That's from shoving my feet into shoes that don't fit well. Wides are simply too narrow for me and hurt my feet. I've tried going up to 7s to get extra width, but I end up tripping on my toes. And I don't have the money for custom shoes. A couple of years ago, I ran into a Parents for Barefoot Children site and started thinking about what it would be like to start going barefoot. I'm not a full-time barefooter, but I've gone barefoot in the car and to the park. For some reason I don't have the courage to try it in a store or public place, which is silly since I have no problem with bare breasts while breastfeeding. Why the issue with barefeet while walking? Just another one of those mental hurdles. And besides- what if someone has a foot fetish? My feet would be literal walking porn! And men are all wired to be visual, you know. (I jest, I jest).

Besides having to get over my pre-conceived notions of what footwear is culturally acceptable, another reason I haven't gone barefoot full-time is that I don't want to damage my feet going into this cold turkey, so I do short walks outside to get my feet used to the sidewalk. I don't think I'm ready for a whole day of barefootness in public, but I'm working my way up there.

So yeah: braless and shoeless. It's good for my body, so it's what I'm doing. Next thing you know, I'll be squatting in some field somewhere giving birth. Actually, anyone know if any good fields in the East Bay area?

The Due Season

It's the solstice! This means I'm due any day from here until the autumn equinox!

It's kind of weird that I'm "due" now (and for the next three months). What makes it especially weird is that we're actually preparing ahead of time. We have the tub and all the paperwork for a birth certificate, and I ordered the herbs I think I'll need. I even started taking my Floravital to build up my iron! Whoa! What is wrong with me?

Last time I didn't get the birth certificate stuff or tub until I was about 41 weeks. It's almost like I'm nesting or something, but not really. Still need a carseat, though. We're planning on upgrading Margaret to a bigger seat so she can continue to rear-face for a couple of years and giving the baby her seat. We should order one or just not leave the house with both kids for a while.

Now, I'm not 100% ready. Still need some things like seaweed, chux pads, sitz bath herbs, peroxide, and a tie for the umbilical cord. And maybe some extra towels And I need to start making up double meals and freezing the extra. I started doing that pretty early last time. Definitely before now at least. Our postpartum doula plans aren't working out well. I need to go on a doula search again.

I'm also wondering if I want to do anything for catching stray milk. I was soaked with milk for months and I have Mom Guilt for not collecting my extra and giving it to a friend who needed it. I'm wondering if I should get a small hand pump and some milk bags just in case I run into someone who needs extra. Of course, if I'm nursing two this time around, I might not have extra.

Now to the fun part!
Because we don't do ultrasounds for finding out the sex of our babies, we don't know what this one will be. Last time with Margaret, we let people guess the sex and whoever guessed right, got an email announcing the birth before the people who guessed wrong. And by "before the people who didn't" I mean "about 2 minutes before" so it's not actually that much of an advantage.

But if you want an email announcement when this baby comes, guess the sex in the comments and leave an email address. You'll get an email before September 21st. :)

Here's a picture of me and some info if that helps you guess:


I didn't realize how big my belly is until I saw this picture. Maybe it's the dress. I definitely don't feel big.

Also, my boy/girl ratio in dreams has been right at 1:1.
I did not throw up this pregnancy, but I was nauseous. With Margaret's pregnancy, I did throw up a few times, but I wasn't really that sick: I would take a bite of my breakfast, throw it up, and finish the breakfast no problem. And that only happened a handful of times. I think my nausea was actually about the same for the two pregnancies and I've just learned how to control my gag reflex better.
More aches and pains this time around.

Oh, and our garbage man is pretty sure I'm having a boy, if that matters to you.

Inquisition Friday

Sorry I skipped yesterday. It was a... day.

So I had another question on Facebook about breastfeeding while pregnant. I also get a lot of "You can do that?" questions in person (even one last night!).

I sent the original questioner to Kellymom.com. She knew a friend who was advised by her OB to wean because of pregnancy. For most moms, this is not necessary (see the FAQ I linked to).

I do experience uterine contractions while breastfeeding sometimes. I also get uterine contractions when we have sex. The contractions I get while breastfeeding are definitely not on the same level as orgasms. And most women can safely have sex during pregnancy. Obviously there are times when sex is not advised (threatened miscarriage, etc.) and those might be times when you would decide to not nurse for the time being.

Some women experience a drop in supply. Some women completely lose their supply. There really isn't much you can do: sometimes hormones win out. Breastmilk also changes in pregnancy to be less sweet and more salty and into something called weaning milk. In general, as a child nurses less, the taste and content of milk changes (this usually happens over years). In pregnancy, that process is sped up into months and so some children will wean because taste. And then there are other kids who simply don't care if you're producing milk or mud and will continue nursing anyway. I think Margaret is one of those.

Personally, I did experience a drop in supply around 4 months. Margaret started suddenly eating a LOT more food. But she kept nursing, especially for naps and bedtimes. In our current situation, I am making colostrum and have been since about 5 months or so. Margaret does like to nurse longer now that there is something there. She also has more runny poos. Colostrum is a natural laxative which is important for newborns who need to get meconium and bilirubin out of their systems. It has upset our ECing a little bit: Margaret had no poopy accidents from October until about 2 weeks ago. With the loose stools, she can't get to the potty as quickly as she used to, but that's normal and expected.

Some people worry about nutrition, but usually in pregnancy and nursing, eating and drinking until you are satisfied is a good rule. What changes most in breastmilk is the kind of fat present, so I take cod liver oil to make sure that there are plenty of omega-3s for the unborn and for my breastmilk. There is a good chapter on nutrition while nursing during pregnancy in Adventures in Tandem Nursing.

I know some people think, "Well after ____ given time, nursing isn't about nutrition anymore..." with an implication that either nursing is a selfish act for the mother or the child. Even if what the child needs at that moment is cuddles, they are still getting all the stem cells, immunities, and even those vitamins and water that breastmilk contains. There is nothing out there as nutritionally dense as my breastmilk for Margaret. I could get her juices and toddler formulas, but none of it would compare. The nutritional value doesn't suddenly disappear after a certain date.

Speaking of supplements, Emily asked, "Do you take any natural supplements in pregnancy? Do you take prenatals, fish oil, or do the Nature's Sunshine 5 W labor prep or anything? Just wondering on your thoughts about supplements."

Right now I feel like I'm taking everything in the book. I take cod liver oil for the omega-3s and vitamin D. I also take liquid chlorophyll and I've recently started taking Floravital, both to increase my iron levels. Now that it's nearing my due season (the solstice is Monday!), I'm trying to build up my iron levels to prevent hemorrhage when the big day comes. I will continue taking both of those as I recover postpartum. I also need to remember to make up my red raspberry leaf tea. I'm very forgetful in that area. Because I seem to be dealing with a chronic UTI and possible kidney infection or stone, I take a cup of cranberry juice every night before bed. I've also ordered some D-Mannose for that. I want to avoid taking antibiotics for it because I don't want to create yeast/thrush issues, though if the D-Mannose doesn't help, I may go see a urologist. I should probably cut out sugar.

As for a prenatal I sort of and sort of don't take one. I take one, but I don't take the recommended amount (4 a day!). I only take 1 because I do try to eat well. I figure that little extra can make up for day to day differences in diet.

We also just started getting our CSA box and right now the fridge is full of kale and chard and all kinds of goodies for green smoothies. I'm very excited for that.

Happy Friday everyone!

Inquisition Wednesday

Both Lactating Girl and Lacee asked about my body cleaning routine with No 'Poo. So this is what I do:

I usually start off with some baking soda. Maybe around a teaspoon? I put it in my palm and let it get wet and make a little paste. Then I take some of the paste and scrub the parts of me that really need it- like my underarms. I figure baking soda is a deodorizer, so scrubbing it under my arms is probably a good thing. You have to be careful, though, if your underarms are freshly shaved- it can sting. I also use this paste wherever else needs a good scrubbing.

For places that don't need a lot of scrubbing, like my belly, I sometimes use a natural soap. We have some goat's milk soap from the farmer's market last year. I even have (but haven't tried yet because I want to use up the goat's milk soap first) some breastmilk soap given to me by a friend who made it from her own breastmilk! I'm excited to try that once our goat's milk soap is done. She said it was the best soap she ever used. If it's great, I think I might try making my own once I have a baby and my supply shows up again!

And that's pretty much it. I actually use the baking soda paste on my scalp, too, so my routine is pretty much: make a paste, use it where needed, use soap and then rinse my hair with the ACV mixture if I feel like it. I actually take shorter showers than McKay does now! Yay for saving water!

---Oh and update on our apartment: we now have a kitchen table and some old folding chairs, so the cardboard boxes are gone! And we have a desk and another dresser! We have a place for the baby's clothes now! McKay's parents brought them all by yesterday and we're transitioning to having furniture (still a lot on of the floor in the office room!). I may take pictures once it's all done. We still need a couch and I would like a table for my sewing machine, but it's looking much better!

Inquisition Tuesday

This week I want to answer all the Inquisition Questions I've received, but not necessarily in the order I've received them. Sorry.

Because I'm having a hard time getting back into the swing of blogging, I thought I'd start with an easy post. On Facebook, I was asked about our new apartment. Here's a little tour (though I need more pictures and a better looking place).

Our location is great: a couple of blocks from a yarn store and a little extra block to the library! Church is only a 10 minute drive, as is Pixar (on good days). I found a park that's only a 15 minute walk away, so that's nice. The area has lots of trees and hills. We looked at a sunnier apartment about 5 blocks away, but you could hear the freeway from it. We're far enough away that it's not noticeable at all. Our apartment is very cool and shaded. It will make for a great birthing environment.

The neighbors are mostly quiet. I don't feel like we can really complain about parties on weekends- that's normal. In the day, there is a neighbor who practices the piano every afternoon and that's nice. Yesterday I heard someone playing ping pong next door. The neighbors directly above our kitchen like to either dance to techno regularly or play video games. I can't tell which one.

The front room (from the kitchen):
This is pretty much it. A chair, book cases, and an entertainment center, and whatever knitting projects I'm working on at the time. In the corner you can see Margaret's new puppet theater. She likes it a lot! The lamp behind the chair is from the dumpster when the neighbors moved out. We had no lighting in this room when we moved in. There is another lamp (out of frame) that I picked up on the side of the road and it is very very ugly. It needs a new shade at the very least. We still need a couch and once we have that, we'll arrange it so it looks nice and put things on the walls. I think an area rug would put this place together well. Part of me doesn't want to spend time/money making this place look nice, though, since we don't plan on being here very long: 6-12 months at the longest.
The eat-in part of the kitchen.
Look at our beautiful table! And Margaret's new chair! We should be getting a real table and chairs later today, but this is how we've eaten for the past month and a half.

The rest of the kitchen:

The most notable features include the granite counter tops and our non-retro oven. It's white! And we're actually the first people to use it! AMAZING! No dishwasher, though. But lots of drawers and a good amount of counter space.

Our bedroom:
Sparse? Yes. Our mattress is on the floor and put sideways to maximize the amount of sleeping space. There is definitely enough room for 4 of us. We used our Christmas lights as temporary lighting and McKay liked them, so we still have them up. There is a lamp out of frame. That one was from Jena at Abundance Massage. We met online and when I mentioned we had no lighting, she offered it to us. She works at the temple regularly and we live just 10 minutes from the temple, so I met her up there and did some temple work and received a lamp and cookies. Ah- all our lamps have a story! I would like to get another piece of furniture so that the diapers have a better storage space. And again, no pictures up until we've finally decided how we want it and if it's worth setting everything up just to take it down again.

The bathroom:

It's about the same size as our last one- but it has cabinets! And also a granite counter top for the sink (hidden behind the counters on the left). No fan for the steam, but there is a window we keep open. It's actually very nice to get a cool breeze while you're taking a warm shower. The sliding doors involve more cleaning- we bought a squeegee and we wipe all the moisture off the inside of the stall and doors after each shower to make it easier to do.

There is another bedroom, but it's not much to see, so no picture right now. It is our "other" room where the computer is (on the floor), Margaret's toys are (in boxes on the floor), and my yarn is (in baskets on the... floor!) It's also where we hang dry our laundry when it's too cool to hang it on the railing outside. We string up a clothes line between the window and the closet and there you go!

Today, McKay's parents are bringing us a table and chairs, McKay's bedroom set from growing up, and his old desk. No couch, though.

Friday Fill-ins

1. Find out that the book you had on hold is at the library feels great.
2. The solution is to stop creating problems.
3. I'm still trying to figure out how to fall asleep.
4. How about that FIFA thing, huh?
5. Sunshine is something I highly recommend!
6. Imagine a nice cool summer- I have dibs on that!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to pizza night, tomorrow my plans include a knitting class AND Worldwide Knit in Public Day and Sunday, I want to give a better talk than McKay! I mean, no competition here. :)

This was a very up and down week. Monday the house was cleaned up and looked wonderful. Tuesday, I met an online friend for the first time. When I first "met" her online, she had just had a UC 6 days before I did. And she was a knitter and LDS. It was like someone cloned me! Well, 2 years later, we got to meet and our kids played at the park. It was a good day.

Wednesday was a bad day. I spent most of the day with a kidney that hated me. I wasn't sure if it was a kidney stone or the weight of the baby decided to crush my internal organs. All I knew was that walking to the library storytime was killer. And I couldn't sleep. I did some birth art to release fears (in Chinese medicine kidneys are related to fear). I figured even if it didn't help my kidney it would help me. Interestingly enough, the kidney issue disappeared about an hour after all that and I haven't had trouble since.

Thursday was good again- mostly. Lots of running around: grocery shopping, laundry. I had lunch with an LLL leader in Berkeley at Crepevine, which was really good. Of course, Margaret's nap schedule got all wonky because of the plans of the day and she napped from 4:30 to 7:30 in the evening. On the good side, she thinks my attempts at puppet shows are hilarious and she fell asleep without nursing. She did need to nurse 3 times during the night, but I was ok with that. This pregnancy thing is really bothering my nipples. I'm curious what it'll be like after the baby is out.

And today is Friday. Nothing planned for today but to tidy up since Wednesday and Thursday left me with no time or energy to do that. Maybe I'll get some knitting in. I need to catch up on my project before I go to the class tomorrow. Oh, and write a talk sometime. I've been trying to pin down a topic for three weeks and still no luck.

And next week, I'll catch up on all the pending inquisitions.

Rebuilding the Bubble

I don't want to be too hard on my new ward. They are seriously great. There's a knitting group! A book group! A movie group! They're all going to see Hairspray in July! There is a lady who bakes to manage her migraines and then she calls you up randomly and says, "Hey. Do you want a cake?"

"Why, yes, yes I do!"

The ward is going to do a baby shower for me also. I was a little hesitant to accept the offer. I don't really like baby showers. I had a couple with Margaret and they were fun, but you get a lot of stuff you don't need. I got at least 7 bottles of baby lotion the first time around. Even if your kid has chronic dry skin, you don't need 7 bottles of the stuff, I promise. Also, they tend to involve lots of asking about birth plans. But the ward will do it AFTER I have the baby, which actually sounds nice. There won't be any pre-baby fears, just after-baby shock. And I think I can deal with that better. Plus we'll actually know the sex of the baby at that point. Of course, they want me to register at the usual Big Box Baby store- actually requested it. I have no idea what I would want from there. Can I register at Ikea instead?

So that's fun.

And I wanted to share a happy bubble story from yesterday. I sat next to an older lady in Relief Society. I guess that's not surprising- most of the ward is over 50, I would guess. Anyway, she straight out asked me, "Where are you having the baby?"

"At home."

And without skipping a beat, "In the bathtub, I hope?"

"No, our bathtub is too small. We're getting a pool."

"Oh. My bathtub would be big enough if you want to come over."

Hahaha! Now, I didn't mention the UC, but at least the homebirth idea wasn't too offensive to her. I know there's support out there, I just need to stick my neck out and risk the non-support to get it.

And eventually this blog will stop being so journal-y and more informational. Probably when that harddrive comes in and I'll be able to blog while nursing again.

Friday Fill-ins

1. Dreamland is my favorite place to travel to.
2. When I think about my childhood, I often remember maple trees.
3. A listener makes for a good friend.
4. The wind in the trees, the rain on my skin, summer so far has been nice and cool
5. Chocolate cake is so exciting!
6. My best friend knows my due date.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to doing nothing, tomorrow my plans include doing nothing and Sunday, I want to take a nap!

This week has been "one of those" weeks. I killed the harddrive on my laptop last Friday, so any Internet-ing must be done at the desktop, except we don't have a desk. This means sitting on the floor, which is kind of getting uncomfortable. My feet are falling asleep as I type.

We spent the weekend at my in-laws, which was nice, but meant Tuesday was spent catching up. And all desire to nest has completely left me.

Monday night I had a wonderful birth dream: it was a little girl, born autonomously. The placenta wouldn't expell itself from me, so at 12 hours postpartum, I had to be slightly more vigorous in pushing it out, but no bleeding. It was actually a wonderful birth dream and I hope this birth goes that way. For those of you guessing the sex of our baby, I've now had 1 boy dream and 1 girl dream. For the record, with Margaret I had 4 girl dreams and 3 boy dreams, so you can see how statistically significant my dreams are. :)

Thursday was kind of hellish. I spent an hour at the DMV, was the second to next person in line, and then the system crashed. Every DMV in the state of California was down. I decided to wait another 45 minutes, but at that point they were telling people it would be 2 more hours. I had run out of snacks for Margaret and I knew she would need to go potty soon, so I just went home. Of course, the DMV is closed today and won't open until Monday.

Still need a carseat. Still need a birth tub. One of these days I should start making double batches of dinner and freezing half of it. I need to do some sewing and knitting. We are still using cardboard boxes as kitchen tables. A couch would be nice, too. I also want to print out more recent pictures for our picture frames, but that's not going to happen any time soon.

On the more emotional level, I've been trying to find my place here. When it was time to introduce ourselves to the ward (this was the RS/Priesthood combined meeting), I felt very self-conscious about the fact that I'm not a lawyer or professional like all the previous women who had introduced themselves. We had been asked to mention hobbies and passions. Hobbies? Easy: knitting. Passions? Probably too crunchy to start off with. "Hi, My name is Heather and I'm planning on having this baby at home without a medical professional and I haven't regularly used shampoo in over a year." Um. No. Not a good start. I did mention that I was involved with lactivism and the FB nurse-in off-handedly. Lactivism is a passion of mine. I'm not sure if I scared people off or no, but it was nice to accept the label publicly instead of just on my blog.

Of course, when questioned and pressed about our birth plans at a RS meeting (one of those little group ones), I mentioned my UC with Margaret and was suddenly reminded why I don't mention that in casual conversation. I need to remake myself a bubble of peace. And I am so frustrated that people think McKay is so brave in "delivering" Margaret and "how nervous he must have been!" and "well, if he were studying to be a doctor it wouldn't be so bad..." and McKay McKay McKay. Um. Yes, he caught her, but he didn't have to be there. And why can't a woman be the have a baby without the nearest man needing to be the "expert?" ARG. Ok. Like I said: I need to rebuild my bubble of peace.

And there have been other disappointments in the pregnancy department. I probably won't get a belly cast or mother's blessing this time like I wanted. I'm not even sure if I'll get henna. And I want to do some birth art painting, but art supplies aren't really in our budget- especially after the harddrive issue and budgeting for a new carseat. I really wanted to celebrate this pregnancy, but I guess it'll just be one of your regular, boring pregnancies where you just keep living your life and then a baby shows up. ;)

But I've conquered a really bad UTI this week and all my urine levels are good. I also managed to control the ankle swelling. Strangely, I think it was related to the UTI because I haven't had any swelling since then. My fundus is on dates, maybe a week ahead. I've gained way more weight than I intended to, but I keep reminding myself that the "problems" of a "big" baby are better than the problems of a baby born too small.

I'm probably forgetting something. Blogging is going to be intermittent because my stream of consciousness is clearly not orderly right now.