Tuesday, July 17, 2012

First Birth Dream

I have lots of dreams all the time (the honey badger made an appearance in one last week), but I had my first birth dream this pregnancy a couple of nights ago.

It was interesting. I had a midwife, but I had my baby at her house instead of in my own house. I had the baby while I was upright over some towels and caught her myself. When the baby was born she was small: almost so small I didn't think she'd live very long. I didn't think she'd be able to latch on to nurse, but I decided to try anyway, remember that skin to skin contact is still good for premies even if nursing can't happen right away.

To my surprise the baby, whom we named Emma, did well at the breast and grew noticeably by at least 3 pounds. I was reclined in a bed at this point (for nursing). There was noise outside the room because the midwife had some friends over and when they heard I had my baby 20-30 people were trying to come into the room to see. I just wanted them to go away. I told them to leave, but they wouldn't. Many came and sat down on the bed I was in. The midwife was telling them to leave, but was not particularly assertive and McKay wasn't really active in helping either. It got to the point where I was having to yell at and physically kick people off the bed myself, which actually hurt since I had just given birth and my vagina was still healing from that.

So that was interesting.

I think it reveals some of my fears about getting a midwife: will she be able to protect my birthing space? Will a midwife + apprentice(s?) be too many people for me to deal with?

The baby being small and then growing was interesting. It really was pretty small at first, a little bigger than my hand. One of the thoughts that went through my head was, "I haven't been taking my vitamins regularly, did I do this to my baby?" My nutrition, while not as bad as it has been in the past, hasn't been at its peak and I think that's on my mind.

As far as the sex of the baby, I don't put a lot of faith in that as far as indicating the sex of my real baby. When I had Margaret I had one more girl dream than boy dream (something like 3 vs. 2 or 4 vs. 3, I don't remember) and I don't consider that statistically significant in predicting sex. Also, it's highly unlikely that we'll name a baby Emma. Nothing against the name- it was on my list at one point- it's just not on the list at the moment.

It was a revealing dream for me. In real life, I'm still undecided about whether to UC again or go with a midwife. I need to restock my urine test strips (I threw them out when they expired) and get a confirmation of pregnancy from a midwife/doctor/nurse/Planned Parenthood if we go the UP/UC route. Also, the kids were playing too roughly with my fetoscope and I have to fix some of the tubing. I measured my fundus the other day and it surprised me that I'm actually pregnant. I'm not measuring big or anything, it's just that in my head I keep thinking of this baby as the size of a bean instead of various fruits. I hope that means this pregnancy will go faster than I expect.

1 comment:

  1. I don't have many vivid dreams like you do, but I had my first birthing dream a couple weeks ago. In my dream, I was in the kitchen and started to feel some contractions. DH was in the living room with our home teacher and his wife (who has had several of their 8 1/2 children via UC) and I tried to tell them I was in labor, but they were being too chatty and didn't notice. The baby was starting to come out and for some reason, I was right in front of/over the garbage can (which is under our sink.....) I told them if they didn't come, the baby's head was going to fall right out into the garbage can (because I couldn't catch it myself..?) I ended up catching part of it myself and had to re-maneuver in order for the head not to fall into the garbage. They came into the kitchen right after the baby (girl!) was born.

    I am not pregnant right now, but I do hope to have a home birth next time around and I do really think the next one will be a girl. When my 2nd was born, the nurses and doctor were all turned around while I was pushing and didn't seem to care or notice when I said "I'm going to push!" So that probably influenced part of my dream. One of my fears for the next time around is that since my last one was born 1 hour 38 minutes after waking up in labor that I either won't get to a hospital fast enough or the midwife won't get to our house fast enough.

    Interesting how our thoughts and concerns can come out in our dreams. :) I have no idea why a garbage can though!!!


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