Monday, July 09, 2012

Inquisition Monday

My friend over at 5inthebed asked me an Inquisition Monday question.

Are you still doing inquisition monday? I wanted to pick your brains on your thoughts regarding UP/UC and how you feel about it all since you've done it twice now. If you had another baby is there anything you would do differently? I know you had awesome labour support with McKay, but how would you prepare if you knew he wouldn't necessarily be around and there was noone else you really felt comfortable having around? You've probably covered a lot of this already. It's early here and I shouldn't be awake. apologies if this is rambley!

Sure, I'll still do Inquisition Monday! I haven't been very interesting lately, so no questions have been coming in.

If I had another baby, is there anything I'd do differently? Well, I guess we'll find out this winter! McKay is a little nervous about another UC, especially when we do have the means to pay $4000 for a homebirth midwife. I call it 3rd baby syndrome: in almost all the pregnancy forums I've visited in the past, it's very common for people to start thinking, "We got lucky 2 times... can I do a third?" from everything to homebirth to vaginal birth (as opposed to needing a cesarean), to having a kid with special needs or other medical complications at birth. Personally, if everything goes as it normally has, I think we'll UC. But if something comes up I'll definitely consider extra help. My only worry is that by the time I find out I'll need help, all the midwives will be booked up.

What's exceptionally cool here that didn't happen in Utah is that the midwife will come to your home for every prenatal check up! That's pretty cool, especially if you have other kids that have to tag along to appointments.

Other things to do differently: maybe get a babysitter for the kids. It was a little annoying that 2 year old Margaret was patting the pool as I was trying to lean on it. Of course, it depends on what time of day the labor is. I would feel bad calling someone to watch my kids at 2 in the morning, even if I had previously arranged the babysitting. Margaret probably would have been at Isaac's birth even if we had a babysitter lined up for that reason: she woke around 4/4:30 in the morning and I couldn't nurse her to sleep, so she was awake. Isaac was born around 7:30 in the morning, so I don't think I would have bothered a babysitter for those times. At 2 in the afternoon? Sure.

I would really love a photographer or videographer or to do a time lapse video. The first two options there mean extra people will be around and I don't really like that, but good pictures and video need professionals. Our computer can take time lapse films with the built-in camera, so there's that option. Just position it and go. I'm thinking time lapse in case the birth is really long: takes up less space on the hard drive.

I might not nurse all the way to the end of the pregnancy. Isaac turns 2 in a week and if he ends up weaning after that on his own, I'm ok with that that. That was my plan for Margaret as well, and she ended up nursing all the way through. So who knows? They're different people, but he really does love nursing.

If I didn't have McKay, what would I have done? I'm not sure. I'm pretty stubborn and I'm definitely the kind of person who would have gone ahead with it anyway. In fact, even before I was seriously considering UC as an option, I was telling McKay, "Oh someday you'll come home and find out I had a baby!" But it's definitely a hard position to be in: do you go into a birth without the people you want support from? or do you birth with attendants you don't want support from? Which one is going to cause more stress for you in labor? You want to be in the most calm place (mentally, physically, emotionally) you can be and that's going to be different for everyone.

So I hope that helps. More questions are always welcome. And sorry for posting late (I know you won't get this until Tuesday over in the UK!) We just got back from a trip and our car died and so life's been up in the air. And I have to go do homework now.


  1. Congrats, Heather! Blessings for this pregnancy and birth!

    1. Thanks, Jamie! When you asked why we weaned Margaret the answer was, "Because I'm pregnant and taking care of 4 people (fetus, Isaac, Margaret, me) was a little much!" But I couldn't say that since we hadn't announced it yet. :)

  2. Congrats, congrats, congrats! :) :) :) Sooo excited for you!

    How did you tell McKay?

    And, honestly, don't feel bad about calling people to babysit! I've done it twice and I was so happy to help in any way I could, to do something useful to help with the birth!

    1. McKay was there. It was a bit of a surprise. My period was a couple of days late, but I had been that late before without pregnancy, just not in the past few cycles. So I got out a dollar store test figuring we'd just lose $1 on a negative and found out it was a positive. Eep! He was all, "How did this happen?" And I said, "Well, I'm pretty sure it was the unprotected sex." Haha!

      And I totally agree- I would take care of a laboring mom's kids at any time of the night, it's just being on the other side of that that gets me! It's the same issue I have with asking another mom to watch my kids so I can have a mental break: she's watching kids all day, I don't want to burden her for my own selfish reasons. Catch-22.

  3. Congrats, Heather! So excited for you. I would get a babysitter, or "doula" figure to help watch over them. Even if they want to be at the birth and you want them there, having a support person specifically for them helps take the pressure off of you and McKay.

  4. "how did this happen?" -- haha.

    Congrats :) thats brilliant news!!

    3rd pregnancy syndrome... Yes, that definitely happened to me, i wish I had known about it in advance! You are and will be awesome.


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