Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The best of times, the worst of times

McKay pointed something out to me last night.

He said, "Remember when we had Margaret, you got an anonymous comment on the blog from someone in the ward saying that if we didn't take the birth pictures down, they'd tell the bishop?"

Yes, I remember. The worst of Mormondom exploded in my inbox and comment thread. Another Mormon birth blogger wrote a post about how "immodest" it was for me to share those pictures and the floodgates of disapproval opened up. I got emails from people I didn't know telling me I was a disgrace to Mormondom. I deleted it all because I was newly postpartum and not as brave about those things as I am now.

McKay continued, "And last week, a member of our bishopric came up to me and said he saw the pictures and video of Linda's birth and wanted to comment on how happy you looked."

Yes. Five years later and two states over. What a difference.

I wanted to share this, partly as an FU to all those negative commenters from five years ago since Linda's birth video is way more explicit than my labor pictures from Margaret, and partly to say, "It can get better." I know people who have been bullied by church leaders for all sorts of things, but it can get better. Mormons can be downright jerks sometimes: gossiping, tattling. But there's also some good there. Unfortunately, it can very much depend on things outside your control- like location and who the leadership is. And I wish it didn't. At least we have the Internet now and can find like-minded people (hey all!) for support.

Also, everyone needs to move to the East Bay. It's a wonderful place.

Baby picture! QED.


  1. This makes me so happy! It gets better, yes it does. Even when it's getting worse it helps me to clarify/realize how strongly I feel about things (which doesn't help how much it hurts, but still).

    (also, working on it. Tom has an interview next Tues!)

  2. I love living in the mission field because of exactly what you just described. Go new bishopric! yay! And go you for not putting up with dissenters. Your family is adorable and I loved your birth story.

  3. I'm glad you have found your safe spot, though I wish that everyone would normalize birth and breastfeeding and how beautiful our bodies and their functions are. I feel super blessed to live in a ward here in Provo where there are several doulas and childbirth educators and home birthers. I was really pleasantly surprised to not be alone!

    P.S. Linda is just beautiful! And I really loved your video---you did awesome!


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